Love The Movies That Remind Me Of When The Papooses Were Little, And We Were All Still A Real Family

Batting Some Thoughts Around

It is a flipping gorgeous day out again today!!!

I'm the only gal in the office today.  I totally forgot the other office gal wouldn't be here today, and brought her breakfast.  I'm such a goof.

Mister Wonderful is really overwhelmed with all of the fall out he's having to deal with for choosing to hook up with The Cunt.  I'm worried about him.  But hey, anyone that makes hurtful selfish choices like he and The Cunt did, has to expect to deal with the consequences.

They will never last. There is no way she is worth all this shit to him.

I am picking Papoose #2 up and taking her to lunch today.  I am beyond excited!!!  Love that kid.  She got a first and a second at her track meet yesterday.  Yeah, my kid is a beast!!!!  So proud of her!!

Papoose #1 and I are having a mommy daughter day out together tomorrow.  We will eat somewhere, bum around at some antique shops etc, and maybe roll in somewhere for pedis.  We always have fun on our adventures, no matter what we do.  So looking forward to it.  We live together right now, but our schedules are so opposite, we go days on end without ever actually seeing each other.

MW made me dinner last night.  He was a super sweet guy all night.  It's so much better for everyone to get along.

I'll be rolling over to the farm to visit my friends and work with the horses.  That is one trip that is way overdue!!!  I miss them so much!!!  Sucks balls living so far away from them now, when I used to be ten minutes away, at the tepee.

MW wants me to drop Gizmo off with him when I go to the farm. He loves that dog.

I need the plugs in my eyes replaced.  Eyes are so damn dry, my contacts are killing me.  Killing me.

I am so thankful that I'm on the other side of all this bullshit that's been going down in my life lately.  The good days are outnumbering the bad days now. Thank God.

The jalopy is in DESPERATE need of an oil change and an alignment.  So bad.

I have to go get some work done now.

Have a fabulous weekend, all.

The Tepee

Well, I ended up going out and meeting MW and the realtor.

MW was pleasant the entire time.  I was thankful for that.

It kills me to be in the home I worked so hard for, and know I'm losing it, that I'll never live there again.

It kills me to know that MW and The Cunt were together in my home.

It kills me to be there, and it kills me to leave.

I hate feeling this way.

Because of the change in the market today vs back when we bought the tepee, we can only realistically get 33K LESS than we paid for it.

You read that right.  We have lost 33K on our home.

We can't even sell it for what we owe on it.

After all the sacrifice and 100 hour work weeks and sleepless nights and tears and everything else.

How did we get here???  What happened???

*crying*

Head Games

Papoose #2 is a HUGE Hunger Games fan.  She's been reading the books ravenously since they came out.  I have read the first one and loved it.  There is going to be a fan fest for Hunger Games fans with meet and greet of the cast at the Galleria in Dallas on March 8th.  I will be taking my girl there.  I'm sure it will be a beating, but it will be so worth it.  She was thrilled when I told her about it this morning.  Makes a moms heart happy to bring that kind of joy to a childs voice  :-)

We are also getting a group of people together to go see the opening night of the movie, I think.  That's still developing though.

So, I've been perfectly civil to Mister Wonderful, and he to me, for days now.  Then boom, last night in comes a torrent of shitty negative texts from him, literally out of the blue.  Talking about things all the way back over 20 years ago.

But also reiterating that he does not feel any guilt whatsoever about hooking up with and supposedly falling in love with Molly The Cunt.  Madly in love.  Planning on happily ever after together.

Astounding.  What am I missing here?

I do believe that I only have a half dozen payments or so left on the jalopy.   Good times!!!

The Real Deal wants me to move in with him.  This is something I have dreamed of for years.  I was shocked at my reaction inside, when he actually said it yesterday though.  I was surprised to realize that, with as incredibly bad as I am at being alone, I am not quite ready to give up my own space just yet.  This realization took me off guard.  Never in a million years would I ever expect to feel that way.  I've really got foggy brain going on.  No telling what I'll do next, I don't even know me anymore.

So, for now, I'm keeping my own place.  Besides, Papoose #2 has decided in no uncertain terms that when and if Mister Wonderful brings The Cunt here to live with him, she is NOT living with them.  I can't say as I blame her.  I will always have a place for my Papooses to lay their weary heads.  Always.

How he can think he is in love with that backstabbing piece of shit of a human being is beyond me.  The all consuming attraction of the taboo, I suppose.

MW had scheduled another realtor to meet us at the tepee at 11:30 this morning.  I was game to take lunch early and drive out there for him, until those nasty undeserved texts started rolling in last night.  Now, I figure he can just handle all that on his own.  I've finally come to a point where I am strong enough to refuse being treated badly for no reason.  And there was NO reason for the tirade last night.  I've been nothing but pleasant to him.

I pray for him every day, that his journey ends in happiness inside.  He refuses to admit that he feels any guilt or remorse for anything that has gone on, but he HAS to be dealing with a shit ton of it mentally, whether he admits it or not.  The conscience is an unforgiving beast.  I hurt for him, behaving like he has, and continues to do.

I intend to keep being the good person that I've been working so hard to be.  I get better and better every day, and I refuse to let him make me feel bad about myself ever again.  Hate yourself all you want, brother, but keep that cancer away from me thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and gotta send a shout out to my most unwelcome but ever diligent readers:

-HI MOLLY.  FUCK YOU YOU WHORE.
-HI SHARON, YES YOUR PRECIOUS NIECE REALLY DID DO THESE HORRIFIC THINGS AND  PLANS TO CONTINUE PERPETUATING THE BETRAYAL INDEFINITELY
-HI CARROLL, STILL LETTING THE CUNT PLAY YOU AND LIE TO YOU TOO?? IDIOT.
-HI MISTER WONDERFUL, YOU CONTINUE TO AMAZE ME WITH THE DEPTH OF HATE  YOU CAN BRING JUST TO HURT ME

Deep breaths.  Just keep being the good person I'm working on being, and everything will be fine in the end.

Today, I choose happiness.

Peace, all.

No Different

One Of My All Time Faves, Called To Mind This Fine Day.....

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

I Was Totally Rocking Out To This On The Way To Work This Morning, Had A Guy In A Caddy Laughing His Ass Off!!!