Finally Fucking Friday

Many times we are wronged or see loved ones wronged, and although we know fully the laws of sowing and reaping, it's not very often we actually get to SEE it happen. I must admit, in this particular case, I'm grabbing the popcorn and enjoying the show. Karma, gotta love it!!!

We have a ton of new opportunities coming to us, falling into our laps, with Job #2.  It is incredibly exciting, and it's happening FAST!!!  This could be so good for all of us that have been working so hard to make this thing work.

I haven't been able to work at Job #2 for months now, because I've been in the dark place and emotionally and mentally completely unable to do more than put one foot in front of the other and force myself through each day.  There was no way I could be trusted to deal with the public.  The Real Deal kept me out of it and just wanted me to simplify my life as much as possible to give myself the best chance possible to deal with all of the bad things going on in my life and heal as a person.

He is a dear friend, a good man, and has tried to give me my space while still being supportive.  I don't think very many people realize just how sharp a cliff that is to walk for someone watching someone they love going through what I've been going through.  He gets many many brownie points for trying so hard, that's for sure. He has paid many prices and taken a lot of shit from me through all of this.  I'm lucky he is still here.

But he IS still here, thank God.  We may be nothing more than dear friends right now, but that's ok.  That's what I need right now, someone I can trust and that will just be there and love me till I navigate my way through all of this.

I think my body is somewhat adjusting to my new meds now.  I don't have cotton mouth nearly as bad, and my contacts aren't hurting me as much since my eyes aren't as dry.  Fingers crossed.

I absolutely hate the feeling of knowing my dear friend Sherri deals with all the bullshit she deals with, and the enemy she is battling is not one that we can control and beat.  That helplessness is the shittiest feeling ever. She is such a strong and incredible woman.

Next week is spring break.  Papoose #2 will be starting an internship with and incredibly talented horse trainer near the tepee.  I will need to get her there before I come to work at Job #1 and pick her up as soon as I get off every day.  It will be a bit hard on me, but she is so freaking excited about it, and it is SUCH an incredible opportunity, that there is no way in this world I would let her miss out on it.

I may end up staying over at the tepee some next week, so my mornings don't have to start quite so early. Still deciding on that.

It feels good to not be feeling the crushing weight on my chest anymore.  It has lightened up significantly.
Thank God.

I haven't laid eyes on Papoose #1 for weeks, except for working with her at Job #2 this past Sunday.  I felt ready to be out in public, so I toodled the jalopy down there for a breakfast taco first thing in the morning and they got hit with such an incredible rush of people I jumped in to help and ended up working till late that night. Papoose #1 was scheduled in at 5, so in between being incredibly busy, I got to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. That's about all we managed, we were SO slammed all day and night without any letup.  Good for business though.  Glad to see she's alive and seems happy.

Papoose #1 has always been very artistic, and lately she has been drawing tattoos for people and now is learning to actually tattoo and do piercings.  Freaking gross to think of actually doing that, but she is really enjoying it as a hobby so more power to her.

Ok, I'm all tuckered out.  Just now getting this brain to reengage and form thoughts that are even semi coherent to anyone outside my head.

Have a good day, all, and remember, always embrace the reality of karma.