Friday, July 29, 2011

Empty Nesting Sucks Balls, and Wet Tee Shirts At The Office

The teepee was a quiet and sad place last night, with neither Papoose there.  I'm just not the kinda mom that relishes the 'freedom' of the kids being gone.  Love those little turkeys so much.

Papoose #2 will be home late Saturday night.  It can't come soon enough.

I want Papoose #1 back home, NOW.

The people up the street adopted two miniature donkeys a few weeks ago.  Imagine their surprise when they walked out this morning and saw a tiny little miniature of a miniature donkey in the yard?  Tooooo freaking cute.  You just have no idea.  That little thing is literally all ears.  I just wanna pick it up and give it a big smootcher!

Jar, all you had to do was ask, I would have let you borrow my aston  ;-)

Yeah, delusions of grandeur.  Hey, we already established that I need therapy, back off.

The pugs are so hysterical, even when they aren't doing anything but sitting there tilting their heads staring at you, that I've spent more time laughing till I cry in the past two days than I have in a month.  Good times.  I'll ask the gal who owns the one if it's cool if I post a pic of him.  The one that I'm keeping I named Roscoe, but for reasons that are obvious when you see him, he's been dubbed Can't Get Right.

I may have already told yall the above information before.  I can remember details about conversations I had 30 years ago, but can't remember what I said yesterday.  Whatever, I've learned to roll with it.

I had a sheriff tail gate me all the way in to work this morning.  There's a lot I could say about that, but I won't.

Both of my upper arms/shoulders ended up blistering from the sunburn I got at the parade last Saturday.  The blisters are breaking open this morning.  That is so gross.   My tee shirt is wet from it, and not in the way that would garner lascivious attention, either.  That is just gross.

I've been thinking about the red hat lady a lot lately.  I wish she and her husband would come into the store again.  She really had an affect on me.  Carrying that Christmas card and those photos around.......

Ok, I've got nothing interesting to say today.  I need to go dust my office, it is disgusting.  Have a safe and wonderful weekend, all.  A little birdie just told me that I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow, just Sunday.  I am practically retired!!!  I feel like a real lazy ass not working either job tomorrow, I really do.  But hey, I can just be a woman of leisure and get my house clean and play with the puppies!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Bug Eyes and The Trash Saga

The trash service STILL hasn't made a single scheduled pick up at our house.  What's it been now, a couple of months??  Teehee.   Mister Wonderful is getting cranky about it.  They also haven't delivered the trash receptacle he had to pay a deposit for.  They took all of the money out of his account immediately, but have yet to follow through with the actual SERVICE part of the deal.  I send him a daily text when I get home each day and see that the trash hasn't been picked up.  I call it the "trash log, stardate 2011" and then I'm even nice enough to put how many days running it's been for him.  I think I'm really sweet, keeping track of that for him and reminding him of it each and every day, don't you???

I'm naughty.

We were told we would get paid $6.00 for jury duty.  The check came in the mail Tuesday and it was for $40.00.  That's not too shabby, I guess.  I was surprised.  Several days before that, I received a thank you card for serving on the jury, from the judge.  I didn't know they did that, either.

Our household is heavy two black pug puppies.  So freaking adorable.  Picked them up last night. Actually went to pick up one black pug puppy for a friend of mine and was going to babysit him while she is on vacation.  When I got to the breeder, there was this little tiny runt brother of his, who wasn't even going to be rehomed because he's tiny and kinda special needs, and, well, I came home with two.  The one I'm keeping has been being called Can't Get Right because he seems to have little or no control over his Marty Feldman eyes.  So dang cute tho.

Figured out what has been wrong with Papoose #1's car and making it konk out on her all these months.  The clip that holds the wiring harness thing to the fuel pump was broken off, and would jiggle loose then back on loose then back on.  Presto chango.  No more stranded Poose.

Also found some bedding and a couple other things that Papoose #1 needed for her apartment this year.  Of COURSE the bed she'll have this year is a full, so none of the twin extra long stuff from last year will work.  Haha.  I took off at noon yesterday to get the car thing done and to take her around looking for her comforter etc.  We had such a nice day.  I've missed that kid.

Papoose #2 is still gone to church camp.  No phones, no communication with her. I've NEVER had either of my kids gone where I don't hear from them.  Never.  I DON'T like it.

We've found a third location for our third store.  It will be open by December.  It's near Grapevine Lake or Lake Grapevine or whatever that is.  I had no idea it even existed.  We are headed in the right direction!!  Yay!!  Now, if we could just start seeing the PAYCHECKS from all of this hard work!

Well, busy here, lots going on.  Have a great day, all.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hostage Money and Fat Farms

Blond move of the week:  Bought a couple cases of bottled water Sunday.  When I went to take one of them out of the trunk, I didn't have my right hand underneath it well, and as I pulled up  with my left hand, the plastic packaging tore and I punched myself in the left cheek.  HARD.  My face is still so tender and sore today, I have to giggle at myself every time I wash it or put makeup on or anything that makes me touch my left cheekbone and the area just under it.  I mean, who punches their own lights out??????????

My debit card was declined this morning when I stopped by to get donuts for the safety meeting.  This was a major surprise to me, considering I had just deposited two paychecks in that account Friday after work.  Run to the bank to see what the problem was, they were holding my checks because they said one of them was no good, as in the number at the bottom of it had been damaged or tampered with.  Umm, ok, so you just throw the stuff to the side and say screw it, she'll be back about this?????  Anyhow, long story short, the manager released my money, but it still won't be available till midnight tonight for some stupid reason.  Needless to say, I will be closing my account there tomorrow-----once my money is available to pull out.  Retarded.

Someone very close to me said yesterday, in the nicest way possible, that "you're not young anymore, you know".  I couldn't decide if I should have my feelings hurt or not.  I feel as young inside as ever, but I do realize I can't abuse my body anymore like I used to all those years.  Still, wasn't sure how to feel about that statement for some reason.  Especially from the person it came from.

Then later on in the day, another person told me I was incredibly sexy and that he would have a tumble with me anytime I want.  That kinda made my day, hehe.  Naughty.

Papoose #1 is coming home for a sleepover tonight.  She's going to the farm with me tonight, she misses it so much. Then tomorrow I'm asking for the afternoon off to take her shopping for a couple of things for her new dorm room.  We may get a pedicure too.  You never know where our wild and crazy sprees will take us.  Yeah, I know, we are such party animals.  Hahahaaha.   Hey, I like my boring life.  Considering some of the alternatives I've lived with, I'll take boring any day!!

The man behind me at the donut shop touched my hair.  It was weird.  Reminded me of the thin man from the Charlies Angels movies.  You know, the one that is obsessed with Drew Barrymores hair?  Sniffs it and stuff.  Ick.  Hahaha.

I need to take better care of myself.  I'm not young anymore, you know.  hehe.  Actually, in all honesty, that Amy Winehouse thing really bothers me.  I know she did drugs too, but the past few years she has been a major heavy drinker, and while I don't drink like THAT, I do drink way too much beer.  Very bad for me.  I keep saying I'm gonna knock it off, but the damn things just taste so damn good.  I've GOT to knock that off.  Don't want my liver or something just saying "Fuck it!!  I give up!!"

I would love to be locked in at a fat farm/health farm where you have no choice but to get back into your good healthy habits.  All choice taken away, just long enough to get back on the right track with eating, drinking, exercising.........

I want to get involved in yoga.  I wish there were classes closer to where I live.  Dang it.  The whole aspect of yoga really appeals to me.  The spiritual/psyche aspect every bit as much as the exercise aspect of it.

Ok, I have work to do.  I've bored you enough for the morning.  Have a great day all.  I hope you don't keep thinking today is Wednesday like I keep doing.  Freaking HATE when that happens.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Sno Cones Are Frosty Therapy

We never had sno cone stands in California where I grew up.  We also never had them in Panama, Colorado, Tennessee, Kentucky, Wyoming, Idaho or any of the other various placed I've called home.

In California growing up, all we had were slurpees at 7-11.  Those weren't at all the same.  Had lots of bits of crushed ice in them and only came in Coke or Cherry flavored usually.  Not interested.

Then we move here and of course I've stopped for years and let the girls get sno cones when it's hot and all, but I never had even a remote interest in getting what I figured was just like those stupid slurpee things.

Shaved ice is NOT like that ground up crap I had had as a kiddo in other places.

Then one of the gals here in the office has to go and bring me one.  Oh lordy.  Dr. Pepper with cream.  OH my.......I told her she is the same as a heroin dealer pushing her wares on me, the addiction is so complete.

The biggest deal is, as I've gotten older, my stomach doesn't tolerate ice cream at all.  If I decide I want ice cream, I had better be prepared to pay the price, because I will be in pain for hours upon hours for it.  But I can grub me one of these DPw/C and feel just fine and dandy.

We were just sent by one of the bosses to get a sno cone for every employee that wanted one.  He took everyones order so they could have whatever flavor they wanted.  We jumped in the little trailer and did an assembly line and helped the gal knock them out.  I thought that was pretty darn cool of our boss.

Now we just have to do battle with the evil payroll wench if she tries to dock our pay for the thirty minutes we were gone.  Hateful sow.

Have to go eat my sno cone now.  

Mmmmmmmmm.  Frosty therapy.

Anonymous Poster

Whoever it is that is posting to the blog anonymously claiming to know me, please email or text me personally.  I have a question for you.

Lobster Squaw

Why is it that only the songs I seriously dislike get stuck in my head?  Can anyone answer that one????

You know, I don't 'friend' every single person that I've ever known that decide to friend me on FaceBook, only the ones that I truly want to keep up/in contact with.  Some of them are family that I haven't seen since I was a little girl.  All of them are wonderful people.  BUT.  I have a few that the ONLY thing they ever post on there are political comments and/or government discussions.  I don't feel that that is what FB is for.  I mean, if you post something like that once in awhile, great, but don't cover an entire page of my FB with an assload of links.  You have your opinion, great, good for you, I respect that.  But there is a time and a place for everything.  I can't help but wonder what the people that do that are like to sit and have dinner with.  I would shoot myself if I had to be around a few members of my family on a regular basis, if this is the ONLY thing they can talk/bitch about.  *rolls eyes*

Nearly died of heat exhaustion after 5 hours of running around in it with no break for shade Saturday at the parade.  We all had a load of fun though.  I can't wait for the cooler fall and winter parades.  THOSE are the ones we really have a blast at.  Besides, hopefully by then Deuce will be ready to drive in the parades instead of being led.  He drug my butt back to the trailer after all was said and done and the parade was over though, he was a good boy, let me use him as a walking stick.  My boot had gone through blister phase and into open bleeding wound phase before the parade even started.  Since I was afoot, I was the one running around getting everyones harnesses fixed and running back to the trailer for this or that and getting us signed in up at the check in booth, so Deuce and I logged some miles!!  It was really good for him, and he was actually a really good boy.  We had fun.

I didn't go to work yesterday because I had gotten so sick from the heat Saturday.  It was good.  I stayed home nearly all day, only running to IGA for a couple of things we needed.  Otherwise, I stayed in the house in the a/c.  Cleaned house and organized my cupboards.  Didn't make it to cleaning out my terrifying closet though.  Man, that's going to be a project in and of itself.

People really hate getting stuck behind big gooseneck horse trailers.

I need to remember to put sunblock on before I ever leave the house.  Otherwise, I get busy and distracted and forget, and being a pale blond, that many hours in the sun with no shade and in a sleeveless shirt does not work out well.  We were in western clothes, so had the jeans and hat to protect much of me, but the shoulders and arms are pretty well done.  Ouch.

Why do Papoose #2 and I get such a kick out of drive through car washes??  Haha, idk, but we do.  Easy to please peeps, I suppose.

Still no resolution on the 3K for the house mod.   Thinking cap is beginning to give me a headache.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Somehow, Some Way....I Have Faith.....

It's Finally Friday

Took Papoose #2 for her physical this morning.  She has to have it for the church camp she's going to next week.  I went ahead and printed off the UIL physical paperwork so we can use it for sports this year too.  For once I use some common sense, go me!!

In watching her get the physical and seeing through her doctors eyes how grown up she is, I was nearly in tears.  I am so close to my girls, always have been, that the thought of not having either one of them in my life on a daily basis just brings me to my knees.  They have been my entire world for so long.  Now with Papoose #1 not keeping in touch or coming to visit any more than she has, I am more and more panicked about the day Papoose #2 moves out and I never see either one of them.  It's nearly irrational, this dread I have of that day.  Yeah, therapy for sure.

Mostly, I think, I am just now becoming the kind of person that is capable of being the kind of mother I always wanted to be but always fell short of, and I wish I could have a do over.

Ok, can't talk about that anymore.

The dynamic duo have officially been moved out of the master bath.  Their box, food, toys, bed and crunchy tunnel have all been moved into the main part of the house.  Little Gracie and Moses are big kitties now.  Haha.  They still keep walking into the master bath, sniffing around like "Wtf happened to all our STUFF???"

Deuce man did so good last night.  The cut ear is almost healed up enough that I can get him back into harness and start ground driving him again in preparation for getting him hooked back up to the cart and moving off.  Working with animals, gaining their trust and seeing them come out of their shells and see the light come on in their eyes at that 'AhHa' moment when they 'get it' is just a feeling that cannot be denied.  Very cool.

I can't wait till I am financially in a position to help my friends that need it.  I seriously can't wait for that time.  It's going to freaking rock.

I would love to be somewhere beautiful on a beach right now with a good book and a cold drink.  Better go listen to some more good Kenny Chesney music......No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem, methinks  ;-)

Papoose #2 is currently asleep under the spare desk in my office.  All I can see of her is part of the purple blanket she has over her head and body, then cowboy boots sticking out from under there.  Haha.

I really enjoy watching the Patriots play ball.  Piss off haters.  I've been a fan for so many years, I don't know how to jump ship and adopt another team.  I do support the 'Boys in every game though.  How can you not love the Cowboys?  I'm not a fanatic about football like some people are, but I sure do love to watch the Pats, have some wings, razz the other people in the room over their team etc.  All good fun.

On the way home yesterday, we were all pulled over to the side of the road in Boyd, on 114 because numerous emergency vehicles were headed toward us heading east.  One car refused to move out of the way of them.  Both sides of the road were lined with cars pulled over, and this ONE asshole pulls on into the turn lane in front of the police station.  Yep, it was a cop.  The prick was determined that he was going to pull into the police station RIGHT THEN, instead of moving to the side of the road so the fire and ambulances could get by and get to their emergency.  Even Papoose #2, sitting beside me in the car, was like "Who the heck does he think he is?????  He's in the way!!!!!"  And he was.  Because of all the cars pulled over lining the sides of the road, the idiot cop couldn't get into the police driveway, and because his fat ass was camped out in the turn lane, there was no room for the emergency vehicles to get through all the traffic.  And yes, I DID mouth "You stupid selfish fat fuck!!!" as I drove past his window after the clog up finally started to clear.  Self important prick.

And no, I do not hate the police.  I have always had the utmost respect for them and shown them as much.  I have never viewed them as the enemy, but as our heros.  But I have met a couple that are just shitty people.  Self important shitty people.  People are people, I don't care what they do for a living.  I call a spade a spade.  And that guy had no business whatsoever blocking emergency vehicles because he was in such a hurry to end his shift, or whatever he was up to.

Done bitching.  Going to get some work done.  Have a really great weekend, my peeps. Thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for keeping me entertained every day.  


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Anon Commenter

Curious, wouldn't it be quite a long drive to come to a carwash in Ft. Worth all the way from Houston??  No matter how badly you would like to meet another blogger?  Hahaha.  You are funny.

Besides, no car wash.  You will have to contact her on your own, I guess  ;-)

Hearth and Home

Called the mortgage company.  Actually talked to what must be the ONE and ONLY nice person there.  I can save the house and get back online and ontime if I do a repayment plan over the next 6 months.  That will be easy peasy lemon squeezy once my Job #2 money starts coming in in earnest, probably September, October at the latest.   The only problem I am facing is that I have to put a down payment down to get the sale date stopped and the repayment plan implemented.  The timing sucks on this.  I have to do it within the next five days.  The darn payments aren't going to be a prob for six months....but coming up with the down has my thinking cap firmly in place.

*I have nothing to sell, really, literally nothing to sell or hock.
*I have no family that cares if I live or die.
*My credit sucks hairy balls so no loan option.
*I refuse to have sex with strangers, so there goes pimping myself out.
*I have to make the down payment within five days, so there goes working lots of extra hours at Job #2 for the extra money.
*I have no savings - YET.
*I don't have any other ideas on how to raise 3K in five days, so obviously I'm limited on imagination too.


Life is good.  I crack myself up.  It is what it is.  My troubles are so infinitesimal compared to most, I am truly blessed.

Peace, all.

Gerard Butler-Don't Lie And Say You Knew It Was Him!!

Dark Moods

Melancholy today.  I hate that stress and worry can nestle down so deep inside of you that you can feel down even when you don't feel down.  I know, I don't make any sense.  I know, I need therapy.

Speaking of therapy.  One of my best friends since childhood has dropped out of sight for a month now or more.  We are usually in contact every day. She was doing so well, for over a year she was really doing well.  Bi-polar disorder is a wretched hateful frustrating scary unpredictable and unwanted house guest.  I feel sick inside that I cannot do anything to help her.  Her whole life has been stolen from her.  Add to that a family that could give a shit about her wellbeing, and you have a recipe for disaster.  She has one aunt on her dads side that loves her and worries after her like I do, and she sends me email updates every so often.  Last night I got one forwarded where she had contacted my friends mother with concern about my friend, saying that when she spoke to her shortly on the phone, my friend sounded like she may hurt herself, but was not lucid enough for her aunt to really fully understand.  The aunt said she strongly feels that my friend should be in a hospital.  My friends mother replied with "we are in contact with Dr. X, and we agree that she is better off here at home".  Somehow I don't think so.  They wouldn't do anything to help her the last time this happened, last year around Easter time.  It was not pretty.  I don't know.  There is nothing I can do to help her.  If there is, I don't know what it might be.  I feel like I'm letting her down every day.

The 80's were a great time to be a teenager.  Silly and fun and just all around great.  I am lucky to have been a part of it.  I am also thankful I didn't get TOO into the fads of the day.  I only have a few pictures that make the Papooses laugh till they cry and ask "what were you THINKING".  Then again, much of that stuff is coming back around lately.  Everything always comes back around, no?

One of the girls in the office here rolled into work in a brand new car yesterday.  She gets a new one every couple of years.  I think it's fun to watch her get new toys, she gets something totally and completely different every time.  Different make, model, van, truck, car, color.  I've never had a brand new car before.  But I'm pretty happy with the jalopy, just can't wait for the next few months to hurry up so I will be in a position to fix it all up nice nice nice and won't have to feel like a jerk for not really doing the things to it that I need to.  Right now it looks like some kind of science experiment, it hasn't been washed in such a long time.  All kinds of crap thrown around inside too.  Definitely time to get to cleaning on it today after work.  Eegads.

Deuce is coming along great.  I'm really pleased with how he's bonding to me through all the training.  Makes my heart happy.

Had to spend another 70.00 on meds for the kittens, because the vet only gave me enough for ONE kitten twice a day for seven days, not TWO kittens twice a day for seven days.  I told the gal at the reception desk that when I bring them in for their shots, I will allow them to give me a discount in the amount of one of the bottles of meds, since it was their screw up that has dragged this out for so long.  They are pretty cool in there, I'm sure we can work something out.  Otherwise I'll bitch till I wear them down.  Either way, it's all good  :-)

My heart aches for any of my friends that are going through tough times.  So many people have serious serious issues/problems/things they have no choice but to deal with and live through every day.  I would never be a strong enough person to make it through half of what some people deal with.  I am humbled daily by these warriors.

Calling the mortgage company today.  Super nervous.

No matter what he's done or how he's treated me, I just don't know if I can make myself do what would have to be done and break Mister Wonderfuls heart when the time comes.  That is weighing heavier and heavier on my heart as time goes by.  I'm a horrible person, but I don't know if I'm capable of being consciously horrible.  I can't picture myself saying the words that will steal his whole life out from under him.  I don't want to hurt him, no matter how many times he's not cared about hurting me.  He has been so decent lately.  Why couldn't he be this way even a few years ago???

I feel things writhing inside of me.  I think it's my blackened soul.  I despise myself sometimes.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Off With His Head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jury duty yesterday was interesting.  People never cease to amaze me, at how they will behave in public.  I just shake my head and think really???  Are you for reals?????

We were supposed to be there at 8:00a.m. so all of us were lined up outside the door in the sun at 8 and ended up standing out there for about 10 minutes till they remembered to unlock the door. Filed in, signed in, picked up our handbooks, pinned on our little juror #  badges, and began THE WAIT.  Only two of us thought ahead enough to bring a book.  There was NO cell service in the building.  I don't mean the service was bad, I mean there was NO cell service.  So all the people who had planned to kill time on their phone were shit out of luck.  I swear, that building was made of kryptonite or something.  We waited hours for everyone to get there.  The defendant was sitting rather smugly at his table after he finally showed up.  That is, until the officer showed up.  Methinks someone was gambling that the officer would be a no show.  No suck luck trucker man.  Anyhow, I got picked and served on the jury.  It was interesting that every one of the jurors worked in the truck/hauling business in one way shape or form, and the defendant was a driver that was pulled over for speeding and had over 16 different violations including being way over weight limit, bolts missing in his axle and three sets of brakes were completely non functioning.  The officer gave him a break and only ticketed him on the brakes.  He still came in to fight that.  I think you all can figure out how that went for him.

I find it amazing that you don't have to have any special license to drive those huge ass barge sized rv's.  Some of those things are massive.  I don't even want to drive a van, because I can't see out of them, I can't imagine an rv.

I had a wreck with Deuce on Thursday.  My leg and knee are way jacked up.  I don't bounce quite like I used to, haha.  So we have taken his training way back several steps and I've started him over.  He acts like maybe he was in a bad wreck or something, and certain things terrify him.  That is notagood when he's dragging you behind him in a cart, haha.  But, in looking at his teeth and realizing he's wayyy younger than we previously thought, it makes sense that he would not be as road ready as we were led to believe he was.  No biggie, good training opportunity for me.  Lots of exercise too.  Can't complain about that!!  Although, in this heat I DO complain about it.  HAHAHAHAHA

Papoose #2 is at band camp this week.  Next week she goes to church camp in the Colorado mountains, very close to where we used to live.  Pretty cool.  Literally.  She won't want to come back to the blast furnace this godforsaken place has become.

While we were waiting for everyone to show up for the jury thingamajiggy, a man came in and said good morning and proceeded to mess with the microphones on the two tables in there.  One of the potential jurors says "Wow, you have a cushy job, what does a person have to do to land such an easy job?" the man smiled and tried to ignore his heckeler, but the guy wouldn't back off.  He kept saying rather condescending and rude things to the man.  The only thing the fellow finally said in response was "Well, sometimes I'm chief cook and bottle washer, you know?"  Later on, the same man walked into the court room in his judicial robes.  Boy did that asshole try to sink into his seat and disappear.  Teehee.  The judge volunteered him for jury duty, and jokingly said "I think we may be seeing more of each other, you never know!!!"  We all laughed our butts off.

I have to get back to work now.  It has taken me all morning, off and on, to say pretty much nothing.  Haha.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

This and That

Another late night at the farm.  Didn't get nearly enough sleep, again.  But once we work the horses and do the chores, the swing under the trees in the yard is just too tough to resist.  We have to sit and bs about life.  I'm exhausted every morning, but it's oddly worth it.

I was so exhausted by the time I was able to get home, eat, shower, do some laundry and flop into bed, that I woke myself up more than once snoring.  How gross is that???  I never used to snore.  I think even the dog was irritated with my racket last night.  Hahaha.

Moses and Gracie had to go to the vet last week.  Moses had an upper respiratory infection and was sneezing and wheezing and not eating well and just very miserable.  I have no idea how he got sick.  I got him from the vet, he's had his shots, they are indoor only kitties and haven't had any contact with any other kitties, I use really good litter that has zero dust (Worlds Best Cat Litter), and feed incredibly good food (Blue Buffalo Longevity Kitten).  I think it might be because I keep it so cold in the house at night, and they were pretty young when they came home, maybe I chilled him or something?  Idk.  Anyhow, doc gave me meds to give both of them for a week and they are all spunky and full of themselves again.  I must mention here, I have had animals my whole life and been actively involved in rescuing dogs cats horses birds and just about any other animal you can think of.  I've doctored, trained and taught hundreds of animals to trust.  I say all of this to make a point-Gracie is THE hardest cat to medicate with liquid antibiotics that ever lived.

Drove Deuce and he did GREAT!!!!  He tries so hard to figure out what you want of him and is so eager to please.  It is blatantly obvious that at some point in time he was not treated very well.  There are certain situations he acts very afraid, and it's always something to do with humans.  But he is already getting to where he trusts us not to hurt him, and it is obvious that he is going to make a fantastic driving horse and buddy for many years to come.   We've all agreed that he is only about 4 years old, about half the age the gal I got him from thought he was.  After finally dressing him in a harness that actually fits him and driving him myself, I am over the moon excited to get him in all the parades and shows.  Not to mention the trail driving.  Yay!!

When fall rolls around I'll bring him by to let the kiddos drive him, Kathleen.  He's going to be an amazing kids horse.

There was an awful wreck in Briar last night around 7pm.  I was on my way to the farm and they had us passing through in the bike path while they loaded the cars up and got them out of there.  Head on.  I hope everyone was ok.  Both cars (one car and one pickup) were completely demolished in the front.  There were pieces of the car all over the road and up in the parking lot of the store it happened in front of.

In just one second, your whole life can change, or end.

One of our managers at Job #2 had to leave early last night because his girlfriend, who happens to be one of our cooks, was giving birth to their twins.  Nobody ever brings up the fact that he wasn't dating her when she got pregnant with the twins.  He is the sweetest guy and loves her and those babies to death.  As far as I'm concerned, that makes him their daddy.  Too many guys are sperm donors and horrible fathers, never coming close to being a daddy.  I can't wait to hold the babies!!!!!!

I am now off of every medicine that the doc had me taking.  The side affects I was having from all of them were worse than what he was supposed to be fixing.  I feel better.

I was sleeping so hard this morning that I had punched the snooze button for half an hour before I even realized it.  That is very unlike me.  I was sleeping like the dead!

Ok, gotta earn my paycheck now.  Take care, all.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions"

^^^That right there is one of the best lines I have ever read.  I need to permanently add that somewhere so I can see it everyday.

We will be hooking Deuce up and driving him for the first time tonight.  We have done all of the preliminary work we can do, and it's time to hit the road.

The duck lips on Facebook still makes me roll my eyes every time.

I had to have my phone replaced over the fourth of July holiday week.  The new one works great except that the voice to text feature doesn't work.  I cringe at the thought of having to call those people again.

Missing work for jury duty is going to hurt the pocket book.  Darn it.

Got to chat with Mess for a bit yesterday.  I don't think she understands just what that little talk did for me.  Before our chat I wanted nothing but to curl up in bed and hide from all the crap, by the end of it I was smiling and feeling much more positive.  Isn't it funny how your outlook can get so skewed that you can't see the world around you?  Thanks friend.

Did way too much out in the heat at the farm last night and had to use that Tiger Balm on my legs last night.  That stuff is miraculous.  Thank goodness Mess turned me on to it.

I can't begin to tell you how many people keep trying to get me to smoke weed to help with the different physical issues I've been dealing with.  It still catches me off guard and sorta shocks me each time.  But being the people watcher that I am, I have quite enjoyed seeing the different people that have brought it up.  Some I was not surprised by, others you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Don't have much to offer today.  You all have a good day.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Juror Number Twelve

I Am Such A Bitch

Sometimes it's hard to figure out why people behave the way they do.  What makes people take on the pack mentality?  You know what I'm talking about, when two or more people will randomly start 'ganging up' on or actively excluding someone else?  I've always wondered where that comes from.  I can't stomach it.  I hate it when it happens to me, and I refuse to be a part of it on the other end of things.

Gearing up for open enrollment here at Job #1.  NOT my favorite time of year haha.

Have a horse show coming up in August.  Very excited.  Will be even more excited if I can get a harness together that will fit my horse and get some driving under our belts.  He is WAY younger than the gal I got him from thought he was.  This is actually a good thing, but it does mean we have a lot more training to do than previously expected.  Fun project.  Love it!!

I was a bitch to Papoose #1 last night.  My feelings are hurt that I never hear from her and usually I keep my wits about me and when I DO hear from her or see her I just show her all the love I have for her.  I was shitty and resentful this time though.  She was being snotty to me and I allowed myself to be snotty back.  I feel awful about it.  Pretty upset about that today.

Then Mister Wonderful decides to tell me that it's all my fault that she never comes home and tells me what a horrible person I am, so of course that leads he and I to get into a fight.

I get so frustrated with myself.  I know how I should behave, but sometimes I still act like an asshole.  It's like I'm right there watching myself, saying to myself "God, stop it!!!  You are wrong, you are being a bitch, you are being hateful and hurtful, just stop it!!!!"  But then I can't.  Or I won't, idk.  I hate that about myself.  I want to be a good person.  I don't want to be a person that hurts other people with my sharp tongue.  I hate it when I behave badly, no matter what has been done to get me riled up.  No matter how I am treated, there is no excuse for me to be hateful.  I abhor that about myself.  I just can't seem to get my shit together to be a better person for some reason.

Still, I strive.

Did I mention that LabPup ate Mister Wonderfuls hundred dollar gaming headphones?  Well he did.  Ooops.  He has always been so good about only chewing on his own toys, loves his toys.  For the past couple of weeks he isn't interested in them, and I have caught him picking things up that don't belong to him.  I've never had a dog go backwards like that.  Sorta odd.

Man, we REALLY need Store #2 to hurry up and open already.

I can't find the paper that I got in the mail telling me I have to report for jury duty this Friday.  I keep forgetting to look for it.  Where the heck would I have put that???  Anyone????  I fully intend to walk in there and behave all Twelve Monkeys in order to get myself sent home.  Or maybe I won't.  I don't know.  Need to do my part to be a good citizen.  Even if it will kill me financially.  We do not get paid if we are not here.  No exceptions.  No sick days, nada.  Poopy.

Ok, it's taken me all morning to ramble on about nothing.  Have to get hard at it now.  All of you lovely people have a great day and try not to melt out there.

Monday, July 11, 2011


Again, swimming up towards the light.  Trying to anyway.

Not happy to be back at work.  Not one little bit.  I don't even feel like I had any vacation time.  Too many things going on that kept me from any form of relaxation.  No worries though, soon enough I will have vacation time.  Lots of it.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

At least thats what I keep telling myself.

So incredibly depressed.

I have a good friend that I email with pretty much every day.  She is one of the ones that we go to horse shows and stuff with.  Her work email has a filter that will delete any message sent through it with any foul language or anything like that in it.  Man does that keep me behaving.  Pisses me the hell off many times, but keeps me in line.  Funny thing is, when you talk about horses, there are many terms that the thing sees as sexual but aren't, so that part of it is pretty dang funny.

When I did the modification on my mortgage, they raised the monthly payment instead of lowering it.  They also didn't remove the late fees and bogus 'inspection fees' from it.  So I fought them over it for months, finally I made a repayment agreement with them to pay an even HIGHER monthly payment to just pay the fucking late fees/inspection fees off and stop fighting them.  Well.  For a couple of months I didn't have the extra 600.00 to add to the already 1200.00 a month mortgage payment, so I didn't add it.  The first day of my forced vacation, I received a letter from lawyers saying that I am in default and they are auctioning off my house the first week of August unless I pay the entire loan off.  That really started my vacation off right.  Hence the depression.  I'm just so fucking sick of working my ass off and fighting the whole mess.  I really am.

I guess I'll call the bastards at the mortgage company on my lunch break today and see if I can work anything out with them.  FYI, never use American Home Mortgage for anything in this world, EVER.  They have sucked balls since the very first payment we made on the house six years ago, or whenever this hell started.  They lost my FIRST house payment.  The very first one.  Thank God I was smart enough to send it with a return receipt request on it, so I had proof of when they received it (two weeks before the due date) when they called and accused me of not paying it at all.  It's been a nightmare ever since.  Bastards.

Papoose #1 showed up at the house last night around midnight or so.  Evidently, big plans were made for she and her boyfriend to double date with Papoose #2 and her boyfriend to hit Hurrican Harbor today.  News to me.  I hope they have fun and I hope they are safe.  Crap, I hope they remembered the sunscreen.

I'm glad a bunch if this medical/surgical stuff is done so that I can stop taking the meds they have had me on that have puffed me up like a freaking puffer fish.  I saw pics of myself on FaceBook and I don't even look like me, I'm so bloated.  Disgusting.  Absolutely disgusting.  Hoping to get back to my normal self over the next couple of months.  Bleh.

I totally forgot that the kid and I were supposed to go to the farm this weekend and help my friend move grain and hay.  Just now remembered that.  No wonder she's not speaking to me today.  Great. That's fabulous.

Ok. Gotta get back to work.  Have a great day everyone.