Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I Am Such A Bitch

Sometimes it's hard to figure out why people behave the way they do.  What makes people take on the pack mentality?  You know what I'm talking about, when two or more people will randomly start 'ganging up' on or actively excluding someone else?  I've always wondered where that comes from.  I can't stomach it.  I hate it when it happens to me, and I refuse to be a part of it on the other end of things.

Gearing up for open enrollment here at Job #1.  NOT my favorite time of year haha.

Have a horse show coming up in August.  Very excited.  Will be even more excited if I can get a harness together that will fit my horse and get some driving under our belts.  He is WAY younger than the gal I got him from thought he was.  This is actually a good thing, but it does mean we have a lot more training to do than previously expected.  Fun project.  Love it!!

I was a bitch to Papoose #1 last night.  My feelings are hurt that I never hear from her and usually I keep my wits about me and when I DO hear from her or see her I just show her all the love I have for her.  I was shitty and resentful this time though.  She was being snotty to me and I allowed myself to be snotty back.  I feel awful about it.  Pretty upset about that today.

Then Mister Wonderful decides to tell me that it's all my fault that she never comes home and tells me what a horrible person I am, so of course that leads he and I to get into a fight.

I get so frustrated with myself.  I know how I should behave, but sometimes I still act like an asshole.  It's like I'm right there watching myself, saying to myself "God, stop it!!!  You are wrong, you are being a bitch, you are being hateful and hurtful, just stop it!!!!"  But then I can't.  Or I won't, idk.  I hate that about myself.  I want to be a good person.  I don't want to be a person that hurts other people with my sharp tongue.  I hate it when I behave badly, no matter what has been done to get me riled up.  No matter how I am treated, there is no excuse for me to be hateful.  I abhor that about myself.  I just can't seem to get my shit together to be a better person for some reason.

Still, I strive.

Did I mention that LabPup ate Mister Wonderfuls hundred dollar gaming headphones?  Well he did.  Ooops.  He has always been so good about only chewing on his own toys, loves his toys.  For the past couple of weeks he isn't interested in them, and I have caught him picking things up that don't belong to him.  I've never had a dog go backwards like that.  Sorta odd.

Man, we REALLY need Store #2 to hurry up and open already.

I can't find the paper that I got in the mail telling me I have to report for jury duty this Friday.  I keep forgetting to look for it.  Where the heck would I have put that???  Anyone????  I fully intend to walk in there and behave all Twelve Monkeys in order to get myself sent home.  Or maybe I won't.  I don't know.  Need to do my part to be a good citizen.  Even if it will kill me financially.  We do not get paid if we are not here.  No exceptions.  No sick days, nada.  Poopy.

Ok, it's taken me all morning to ramble on about nothing.  Have to get hard at it now.  All of you lovely people have a great day and try not to melt out there.

4 comments:

  1. with all the other stuff going on in your world... it is understandable that the bitch would come out....

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  2. Being a bitch is better than being a whiny passive. So, there ya go!

    I have been a crappy blogger lately and I have not been keeping up with reading blogs. What did you finally name your horse?

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  3. Mess-thanks for the chat yesterday, you don't know how much better I felt after that, thank you.

    Birdie-I named him Lil Deuce Coupe, we call him Deuce. It is good to hear that you are ok, been wondering about you.

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  4. My papoose #2 is not so nice to me and communicates out of duty. I have no idea why and she makes believe it's not happening. It hurts so much as you already know. Mission Impossible. But it still hurts.

    I would love to do Jury duty but it just isn't equitable that we are doing our good, obligatory civil duty we don't get paid from our jobs. A country that takes care of its people has people who take care of their country. Will this put me on the FBI watch list?

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