Friday, October 7, 2011

Rumbling At The Teepee

So I had a doc appointment yesterday and had to leave work early.  Now, I don't mind leaving work early when I have to, but man it pisses me off when I arrive on time to be seen, get left in the waiting room for an HOUR, then they take me back, take blood pressure weight and height (yeah, I seem to be shrinking, or their stick thingie is wrong) and park me in an exam room where they leave me for ANOTHER HOUR!!!  Freaking seriously????  I could have stayed at work another TWO FUCKING HOURS?  Assholes.  I was so pissed off, it took me a good 10 minutes to calm down enough to even engage my brain in the conversation at hand once they sauntered into my exam room.  Fucktards.

I had Wednesday evening off from Job #2.  Went to the farm to see the two new horses my friends bought and for Papoose #2 to check on her horse and work with him a little bit.  Made sure to get home early enough that we could make and eat dinner as a family.  While Mister Wonderful and I are out checking the meat on the grill, we were chatting about the repayment situation on the house, and I was pointing out that we really need to buckle down for the next six months till the repayment thing is done, then we will be golden, etc.  He was all sure thing yada yada and in a fine mood.  I thought man it's nice when he is behaving nearly human, life is so much easier.

Then yesterday morning I get a text that says "I just dropped 290.00 on the electric bill" to which I responded "Great, thanks for taking care of that!"  to which MW responded "Had no choice, it was about to be cut off AGAIN!"  to which I responded "Well thank goodness you swooped in to save the day then!"  And reminded him that it was the stupid electric companies billing issues that caused the last blackout.  Now, let me say, HE was supposed to pay the electric bill to begin with.  I am paying a double mortgage for the next 6 months, of which he is only paying the same amount as he did when we were paying the regular mortgage.  He makes over twice as much as I do, and he has only ever given me 600.00 towards the mortgage.  Now, when the mortgage is just over 2500.00, he still intends to only give me the 600.00.  I've always paid the electric bill out of my money as well.  I also used to pay the car insurance out of my money each month.  Even for the year we were living apart and separated.

I made him take over the car insurance several months ago, and now that we need to "batten down the hatches" for the next 6 months to get everything straight, I asked him to help take some of the load off of me by paying the electric.  He was all whatever when it was just talk, but once he had to actually use HIS money to pay the electric bill, he went ballistic.  I mean, all I do is work.  I'm rarely even AT the house.  HE is the one with three huge flat screen tvs, an extra fridge in his man cave, several neon signs and shit in his man cave, and three different video game systems, one of which is playing online games pretty much at all times when he is home.  He only works his one job, nothing in the evenings or on weekends.  Even tho he SHOULD be a man and get a part time job or find ways to lower the expenses, he has always refused.

This man bought one of the flat screen giant tvs.  This man RENTS two other ones from Aarons or somewhere.  This man ALSO RENTS a couch recliner combo thing that he has in his man cave.  He spends hundreds of dollars on toys he never uses and gets violently disgusted with our whole financial life that I have evidently single handedly ruined, according to him,  just because he has to pay an electric bill for his family's home?  Really?

So anyhow, having to spend his precious play money on the electric bill sent him into outer space.  He's sick of all the bs bills "popping up" and sick and tired of our finances being in a shambles and fuck it lets just sell the fucking house, he's so sick of all of it.

So I said fine.  YOU get the realtor and YOU go find somewhere to rent, because I'm fucking done as well. I told him I WILL NOT be his scape goat and his excuse and his person to blame for all of his miserable unhappiness anymore.  No way.  Not me.  Not anymore.

He hasn't spoken to me since, which is super fine by me.  After my doc appt last night I rolled by the Euless store and ended up getting put to work.  Also fine by me.  Got home a little after 11 last night and was in bed around 1230.  Slept like a baby.

Today I don't work Job #2.  Today after work at Job #1 I'm going by the store and purchasing a FOR SALE BY OWNER sign and posting it in my front yard.  If I get any offers, great.  But the main reason I'm doing it is for MW's benefit.  I'm interested to see his reaction to his pissy ass ranting and threats actually being carried out.  I could walk away from that house and everything in it and not look back. I'm THAT through.  I would PREFER to keep the house at least till I get Papoose #2 graduated and off on her own path, but if that doesn't happen, I'm totally ok with that.

That miserable, selfish, irresponsible, spoiled little prick means absolutely nothing to me anymore.  He's always known that I never had a home growing up, and that I would do absolutely anything to keep the home I was blessed with as an adult.

He doesn't have that ammunition anymore.

There has been a shift.

And I am ready to move forward, toward whatever it is my future holds for me.

We shall see.


  1. What Jar said, or kick his stupid ass out. One or the other!

  2. You should leave! Been married 30 years to a good man --but that said I have always had an exit strategy. We lived in poverty for years but even then I had a hidden stash and a plan if he should change and I needed to walk. I know that goes against all teachings but I was never going to be in a situation of either physical or verbal abuse. I had seen it and swore that wouldn't be me. My daughter is grown and married to a great guy but I still tell her have a plan. Be able to walk out that door. And I know she can -- Who knows maybe that is what has made him continue to be a good man. Yes I know this probably isn't the perfect world of trust u should have-- but I am happy and sleep well!!

  3. I can feel the shift in your words. He's tested every last scintilla of your kindness, patience, heart and soul.

    Good riddance.

  4. I love Anonymous's Plan. Too late for me though.
    Shifts are so good when they happen, we wake up. Gotta ask yourself this how does it serve me to have him here and is it worth it?
    sending you good shift energy.