"KILL IT BEFORE IT JUMPS DOWN AND EATS YOUR FACE OFF!!!"

I LOVE FALL!!!!!  My favorite time of year, fall, love love love it!!  The cooler weather, the changing colors, the excitement about football and the holidays and just everything it entails.  I switch the candles I burn from fresh fruity summertime ones, to spicy, apple, hazelnut warm fuzzy ones.  Just HAPPY.

Well, I'm officially done feeding the farm.  Man am I ever glad, too.  That was a colossal beating.  That shit needs to be left to those who have no real jobs.  Man.  Love my friends and I know I'll end up doing it again for them, but I cannot begin to express how relieved I was when I woke up this morning and realized I didn't have to head out to spend a couple of hours in the dark feeding.

Papoose #1 was in town for Friday night, Saturday and most of Sunday.  She was in desperate need of some new clothes and a few things to use in her kitchen at school, so we logged about a million miles and many hours of shopping getting it done for her.  We had an absolute blast.  I even scored six pairs of flip flops at 3.00 each, because I'm just good like that.

I also finally splurged and bought the 4" memory foam mattress topper for my giant king sized bed.  It was expensive, but so worth it.  My friend raved about hers when she bought it, and I was like yeah yeah whatever, it's a damn mattress pad.  Then I stayed at her place several nights while I was watching the farm and man alive did that thing make a difference in the pain or lack thereof while I was resting.  I am not exaggerating when I say that over the past couple of years it's gotten to where I only sleep about 15-20 minutes at a time, because the arthritis in my knees and shoulders hurts so bad that there is no position I can lay in and get comfortable.  Even rolling over brings me completely awake because it hurts me so badly.  With this thing, it gives massive amounts of support EVERYWHERE on your body, but gives in all the right places so I don't feel like my bones are grinding into each other anymore.  It's a miracle.

Saturday night Papoose #1 and I got done with shopping really late, so we were at the farm at like midnight to check on all the animals.  There are five different barns that have horses that need to be fed and watered, and several pastures as well.  When we were in the show barn and I was hooking the hose up to water, I heard a noise above my head, looked up, and there was a huge raccoon.  He was staring down at me and hissing and dancing back and forth from one front foot to the other.  I could tell the little bastard was about to pounce on me.  I think he wanted the sweet feed I was getting ready to hook the filly up with next to me.  Papoose #1 starts yelling "OMG KILL IT!!!  KILL IT BEFORE IT JUMPS DOWN AND EATS YOUR FACE OFF!!!!"  I'm madly trying to get the quick connect on the hose to work because I'm trapped in a horse stall with really nothing else to use for defense but the damn water hose.  I finally get the hose connected and the water turned on, which is no small feat, considering the faucet I have to be at is directly under the eave the damn pissed off coon is hanging off of.....there is NO water pressure to speak of there, so there I am with a limp hose and a pissy little dribble of water coming out, trying to squirt this crazy coon off the rafter before he lands on my face.  The filly is running terrified circles around me, shit infused dust is flying everywhere, Papoose #1 is showing her support by screaming outside the stall door, I'm cussing like a sailor.  I shoot the little bastard in the face and I swear, his eyes got so big around, he looked like one of those cartoon raccoons.  He starts to hiss louder and really gets to dancing, getting ready to jump in that damn stall with me, and thankfully the water pressure kicks in and I really give him a good shot to the face and he jumps down out of the eaves and into the pasture in back.

Papoose #1 clung to me the rest of the time we fed.  Finally we're done except for watering and throwing hay to the llamas in the front pasture so we are walking down there in the dark when we hear the most bizarre sound coming from the hay barn out there.  It was not like any growl or bark we've ever heard.  It was almost like the weird sounds the bigger primates make.  It was incredibly menacing.  Whatever was over there did NOT want us coming for a visit.  We ignored it the first couple of times, knowing the llamas needed their dinner, but when we heard the noise again, along with the sound of something rather large coming through the pasture, breaking the fallen twigs and limbs from the trees out there, we shot that hay out there like a shot put and took off at a sprint towards the car.  We made about a quarter mile in 2.3 seconds, I swear.  The land out there is several inches deep in sand, too, so sprinting is no picnic.  Nobody fell down, I didn't drop my phone (the only light we had at that point) and Papoose #1 got the gate opened in record time.  I didn't have a heart attack.  I haven't run like that in forever. I swear.   Crazy.Ass.Shit.

Our friends made it back from Nationals safely.  Sad news though.  My one friend that lives at the farm has a chocolate lab.  She's had him with her every day since he was born over 10 years ago, since a good friend of hers had the mother.  He's been declining lately, with all the typical large breed problems.  Well, while they were at the show, he started having nosebleeds.  Finally, when one was really bad, our other friend went and grabbed a vet buddy of ours that shows with us and she came over to check him out.  The poor thing has a tumor in his head, as well as several in his stomach.  Now we are waiting for his owner, our dear friend, to make the right decision.  So far she is not willing to do that.  He is in great pain, so we are hoping that today she will find the courage to let him rest.  So sad.  They just don't stay with us long enough.  Ever.

On a brighter note, The Real Deal has all day Tuesday off, and unheard of miracle.  I will get to spend the evening with him, after I get out of Job #1.  Of course, TRD was sweet enough to put people in place to cover my schedule at Job #2 this week, because Mister Wonderful is in Oklahoma for work all week.  We didn't want Papoose #2 home alone all those evenings I usually close the store.  So this will be a lazy week for me, only working Job #1 8-5 and no farm to go feed twice a day!!!

Have a great Monday, all.  Go buy one of those stupid mattress thingies.  I'm serious.  Do it.  I don't care how kick ass your bed is, this thing is da bomb!!  Well, maybe not you Jar, I'm sure Your Highness has the creme de la creme, the Cadillac of beds.  Hehe.