Back At It

Yes, I guess I did have a brain fart yesterday, thinking I should give up yet another thing over concern for other people over myself.

Sorry.  You all know I'm a dumb ass sometimes.

Hi FA, notice you've been stalking the blog.  Enjoy.

I've purchased three new car chargers for my phone in the last month.  Day before yesterday all of the guts of the cigarette lighter in the jalopy shot out of the little hole and scared the living shit out of Papoose #2 and I.  Once we were done laughing hysterically at our reaction to it, we looked at each other and said "well, I guess we know it wasn't the chargers now!!!"

Now what the hell do I do?  The jalopy only has the one lighter outlet.  How the heck do I charge my phone in the car now guys?? Anyone?? Anyone???   I spend way too much time driving to be able to only charge the phone at home.

I mean, who the FUCK does something like that happen to???  Hahahahahahahaa!!!!

I had a semi tail gate me all the way up 35 and 287 this morning.  I was going the speed limit.  He would change lanes whenever I did, just to ride my ass.  It was very Stephen King.

The moon has been absolutely stunning the last few nights.  The sunrise this morning was killer.

Man, my boss is in a good mood today.

Both of the big bosses here bought brand new trucks this week.  The jalopy is looking pretty sad out there right about now, everyones cars are brand new but mine!!  I guess I better take my lazy ass and wash it, at the very least.  Snicker.

People can tell you a million times the right thing to feel, from the outside looking in, with the best of intentions, but it takes some kind of 'click', a turning point, a shift of heart and mind, before you can truly be ok.  You have to really feel it before you can move on.  No matter how hard I've been trying to be strong and just shake off all the hurt and misery and heart ache I've been subjected to, I was not successful.

Last night there was a shift.  A true shift.  I'm trying so hard to move forward and be a stronger and better person.

I'm also trying so hard to give myself a break and not beat myself up like I've always done.

I know there will be good days, and there will be tough days, but I sincerely realize just how much support I have with my friends, my Papooses, The Real Deal, and I know I will be ok.

Gotta stay focused on feeding the Good Wolf.