Heartbreak

Shout out to my home girl....I was SO tickled to see a comment from you, I've missed you!!!  Letting you know that the only reason I didn't post it was because it had one tiny bit of personal info that I don't share on here.  Didn't want you to think I ignored you or anything.  Made me smile so big to see that you are addicted :-D  You're welcome!!!!  Hahahahahaaha.   Wanna invest in a future store?????  Heehee.

For some reason, I have acquired several pairs of capri pants that have the sewn in cuffs on them.  Why can't they make those bastards so they come out of the dryer with the cuffs fully in tact???  Why do I now own four pairs of blue jean capris that I now have to pull the iron out and get after???  That is silly.  Jeans.  An iron.  Good lord.

Papoose #1 made it home last night and we had a girls night in.  Made tacos and looked at pics of her new apartment and watched part of a movie.  I was too beat to make it through the whole movie, and Papoose #2 had to get up early for cross country, so we didn't make it through the whole thing.  Not sure if I like it or not yet, on the fence about it.  It's Limitless, with whatshisname in it.  Bradley Cooper.

Another reason that I'm not sure if I like the movie or not is that I'm incredibly distracted by the fact that The Real Deal and I may be in some serious trouble with our relationship right now.  And my trying to explain how I am being made to feel seems to be making it worse.  He keeps getting more and more defensive and cold, thereby making me try harder to explain how he's making me feel unimportant and left out.  I honestly do not know what's going to happen at this point.  My future with Job #2 will be at stake as well, if things go sideways.

I have never in my life had a relationship with any human being where I could not just make the decision to walk away and wash my hands of it.  As a matter of fact, I always just thought that I was incapable of those emotions necessary to love and be loved that way.  If TRD and I do not find a way to work through this, it will kill me.  I have NEVER put myself out there like that.  I have NEVER been in love, truly in love, before.  Never.  Not even for five seconds.  I couldn't have kept myself from falling for him if my life depended on it.  I was his the first time he spoke to me.  Totally against my will, I fell.

And the beat goes on.