Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A Jalopy Named Hal, and Running The Donut Shop Gauntlet Again

So, I got out of the house in time to snap a pic of the poor drunken armadillo, but alas, I was too late.  He has deflated.  Barely clinging to his beer now, and wouldn't be nearly as good of a picture.  R.I.P. Otis the Armadillo.  You will be missed.

When the girls were much younger, we rented a house where there was an armadillo that would come into the yard every evening.  Even if we were out there doing things or riding horses or playing around or doing yard work.  He would come right thru and walk right past us.  The kids got the biggest kick out of it, to see one up close that was still breathing.  He liked to dig under the little windmill out there.  He did this for about 6 months, till the damn neighbor ran him over in the driveway.  Still pisses me off.

So, the ambient temperature sensor on the jalopy is broken.  This means that the little gauge that is supposed to tell me how warm or cold it is outside is never correct.  This also means that the built in safety feature in the jalopy attempts to do it's job, but does it at the wrong time.  And THAT means that we will be rolling down the road with the A/C going, and the ambient temp sensor will suddenly decide that its -27 degrees outside and cut the A/C off and turn the heater on.  While I appreciate the fact that the jalopy has these built in safety features, should I ever actually get in a wreck and crash into a snow bank and need to be kept warm till help arrives, it can be a bit frustrating in the heat of  a Texas summer.  Because of the car taking over control of the comfort systems this way, we named the jalopy Hal after the first couple of times it did this.  I am hoping to have the money to fix the sensor within the next few months.  Hopefully we won't melt before then.  Yes, I know I can roll the windows down, but can only stand that for so long with the contacts in.

Honestly, I'm really NOT as high maintenance as I sound.  I sound like a spoiled little ho.

Also on the way to dropping Papoose #2 at school, we drive past one of her friends houses every morning.  This morning there were two sheriffs cars in the driveway, lights blazing.  Looking past them, there is a small black car in the middle of the field behind them, just on the other side of said friends fence.  Driving a little further we see the skid marks running for yards and yards, then the raw spot where the car, after skidding on the brakes for that long, still had the momentum to hit a 6' embankment, tear its way up the embankment, through the fence and a line of rather good sized trees and tons of brush, and still carry itself about 50' into the soft muddy wet overgrown pasture.  Wow.  Whoever that car belonged to was hauling some MAJOR ass down that road when they hit that dead end.  I hope they are ok.

After I dropped Papoose #2 off at the school, I pulled out of the school and was nearly clipped by a flat bed wrecker that was heading to that house to pull that car out of the field.  Bastard wrecker was speeding through the entire school zone, too.  Cut off another car full of kids and tail gated another vehicle back down the road to the house.  Nut muncher.

So today is safety meeting day again.  You know what that means, donut shop day!  Again, waited for the lady to load up my two boxes with one dozen glazed and one dozen chocolate with someone breathing down my neck.  This time a big Ichabod Crane looking jerkoff.  And again, I could barely get turned around with the two boxes in my arms and squeeze along the glass display case to get out of the line after I paid.  Seriously people????  Did your parents not teach about respecting people space??? I swear, one day I am going to go all Falling Down on people.  Idiots!!!  Then, when I say "ExCUSE me!!!  Can I please get the hell out of line now??????"  I swear he just stood there looking at me like a cow staring through a fence.  I wonder how some people function all alone without a keeper sometimes.  Damn.

So I run the gauntlet of people jonesing for nasty sugar encrusted fried dough, get out the door and to my car.  I go to get into the car and my flip flop gets hung up on the runner of the door frame and I fall INTO my car.  Thank goodness the little locking flap on the donut boxes work well, or that would have been something to contend with.  As it was, I took an emergency brake to the ribs and got the damn beads that hang from my rear view mirror hung up around my head.  As I'm cussing and untangling myself and trying to find my flip flop, which had flown out of the car, I look up and see a delivery guy giggling his BUTT off.  I just shrugged and gave him a little wave, put my damn flip flop back on and made my merry way to work.

I guess it's time to finally replace the cheapo two dollar black rubber flip flops I got at Wally World a couple of years ago.  They are awfully stretched out.  Hehehe.

Happy Tuesday, all.


  1. NUT MUNCHER?........LMBO
    Flip flops and beads, sounds like the parking lot at a Kenny Chesney concert I attended one time. And falling it to the jalopy, oh how I would have loved to seen that.
    Good morning my donut eating friend!!!!

  2. ok, now i know you are joining forces with me in MS solidarity...but you really don't have to go so far as falling and nearly landing your face in the donuts....or the emergency brake! and my word woman...those beads are dangerous! coulda hung yourself right there from the rearview mirror!!!

    a car that senses the temps and adjusts the air flow? i would have to kill Hal...don't even think of taking over my controls!! ha!

  3. Hello Corner!!!! And let it be known, I don't EAT the donuts, it's merely my job to stop and BUY the donuts for the guys meeting ;-) I came back and had my oatmeal, like a good Squaw :D

    Sherri, there are simply no words. Wild woman!!!! At least now I have an honorable excuse for my clumsiness, thank you friend!!!

  4. When I'm 90, I'm going to live on doughnuts and Coca-Cola. And maybe mimosas in between.