Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Who The HELL Makes a TWO DOLLAR Electric Bill Payment??????

So, I'm sitting here minding my own business, working, when Papoose #2 messages me, asking why the electricity is out at the house.

Ok, so we do lose power a couple of times a year, so I assume it's that, and give them a call to report it.

Uh, NO.  Lady on the phone informs me that my electricity has been cut off.  Evidently, making a two dollar payment on an electric bill that is $194.98 just isn't enough to keep the ol' juice a flowin', if you know what I mean.

The problem here is, I didn't make a two dollar payment, I made a TWO HUNDRED dollar payment.  Yesterday morning, first thing!!!!!

So that lady has to transfer me to another department to straighten things out, which is a good thing, because she was a rude bitch and kept talking over me and wouldn't let me finish anything I was trying to say, and while transferring me, she disconnects me.  Irony?  I think not.

I call back, busy.  Call again, busy.  Call a third time, steaming, get a person who asks me what department I need.  I have no earthly idea which level of hell I was being transferred to when I was disconnected by the snotty bitch, so I tell the receptionist "I don't know, whoever you send the bad kids to when they've not done their homework, maybe?"  This gal evidently was born without a sense of humor.  Hmmph.

So I get transferred again and listen to a canned guys voice explain to me that although my call is really important to them, it's not important enough for a real live person to talk to me until I've been on hold for the next millenium.  Not even any cheesy muzak, just that dumb ass voice over and over.

Finally I get someone with a pulse, explain my situation to her, she smiles (it really IS true, you can hear it if someone smiles as they talk to you) as she says, "Ok, that will be a hundred dollar reconnect fee, plus pay your bill amount, and we will get that turned back on for you in a jiffy!!!"

It is now a proven fact that blood can indeed boil.

I calmly explained to the nice lady that I was currently staring at my computer screen with my bank account pulled up and there was an obvious TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS missing from it, paid in full to one TRI COUNTY ELECTRIC COMPANY.  But she's a wily one, that gal, and pulls out "well, our system shows that you only paid 2.00, so you need to blah blah blah....."  I lost the tail end of that, because I was explaining, in my best inside(only if you are at a heavy metal concert)voice just exactly what she could do with her disconnect and reconnect fees, and that if ANYTHING in my fridge was ruined I was taking inventory and billing them, as well as billing them for my TIME if she didn't turn my blasted electricity back on immediately!!!!!

She agrees to take another 200.00 from me, not charge me the disconnect and reconnect fees 'just yet' in order to give me time to do the leg work of going to my bank and having them print something out showing that I ALREADY PAID the 200.00, not 2.00 and drive it the 30 minute drive to the electric company's office DURING BUSINESS HOURS, which means I have to take time off of work, as an hourly employee, to clear up a mess that their dumb asses created!!!!  "But", she says, "you can just go ahead and leave the first 200.00 payment here on your books for next month, if that helps??!!"

Gosh, ain't I the lucky one??????????????

Lady, if I could afford to just leave the 'extra' 200.00 with your dumb ass, I wouldn't be waiting WEEKS in order to afford a damn tire for my car like I did awhile back, now would I??????????  Sweet Mother of Pearl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is now 37 minutes after the phone call, and after I paid my electric bill in full FOR THE SECOND TIME, and, according to Papoose #2, we still don't have any electricity.

I want to shoot someone.  Or kick them really really hard, anyway.


  1. Irrif*ckingtating, for sure. ;-)

  2. There was once an old prospector, he had a faithful burro
    While climbing a hill fully packed the burro would go eeeeaahhhhh eeeaahhhh
    The prospector would calmly say to the burro
    "Patience Jackass Patience"

    Calm down my dear...it will be ok!