About Being a Crack Whore, And The Herpes

I had an amazing night last night.  It was absolutely fantastically sweet, sexy, and serene all at the same time.  I need more fingers on which to count my blessings.....

This new medicine has me amped the hell up!!!  When Dr. Feelgood said it was going to 'give me a little more energy' he was not kidding.  The only problem is, I've never felt artificial 'energy' like this, so I keep going around like a meth head or coke head or whoever it is that's always all paranoid.  I keep thinking, 'Oh God, people are going to know I'm all wonky right now, they are going to think I'm on drugs!!!!'  Weird damn feeling.  I keep running into the bathroom to see if I look any different.  It's kind of fun, in a twisted and exhausting way.

Papoose #2, after finding me madly scrubbing the sink at 6am: "Uh, mom, are you ok??  Do I need to call someone for you?"  Yeah, THAT out of character.  Haha.

Steel cut oats are a pain in the ass to cook in the microwave.

I need a walking partner.  I need to get out and hoof it, and I want to do it with someone that will hold me accountable for showing up.  Don't worry Mess, you are off the hook.  haha.

My hair itches again.  Wtf?

So, when MW and I were separated, he lived with his Best Friend.  His Best Friend likes to frequent tittie bars and also to hire the temporary favor of call girls.  He used to order them off of Craigs List all the time.  One weekend when the Papooses were visiting their dad over there, a hooker and her pimp showed up at the house.  MW hurried the Pooses out to the game room and shut the door.  What's a dad gonna do??  Anyhow, Best Friend managed, in all of his lusty escapades, to get himself The Herpes.  Before he knew it was The Herpes, he came in to MW's room and said "Dude, look at this weird shit I have going on with my balls!!!"  that was the first time MW called me, begging to be allowed to move back into the house.  Best Friend has since married him a little chickie from Mexico, and has not bothered to let her in on his little medical secret.  They have lost one baby already, and she is currently pregnant again.  After they find out she's pregnant again, they realize she had a huge round of dangerous for the baby inoculations just after she must have become pregnant.  So they are batting a thousand just about now.  Poor baby.

ANYHOW, over the past several months, MW has had a strange red area show up on his forehead.  Like a Hindu dot.  Right between the brows.  Not super obvious, but there.  Now the past few weeks, his nose has this bizarre majorly obvious red mark all across the end of it.  He keeps claiming it's a zit.  Number one, that man never gets zits, never has.  Number two, it never turns into a zit and has been there for WEEKS on end. So of course, I've decided that he's got The Herpes.  He tried to get him some the other night, and I tried to be polite, but really, how do you politely tell someone that you have ZERO interest in sleeping with anyway, that you are pretty certain they have The Herpes???  There's just no polite way.

Yeah, now he's mad at me.

But that's just too bad.  I don't have time to get The Herpes.