Thursday, March 31, 2011

About Being a Crack Whore, And The Herpes

I had an amazing night last night.  It was absolutely fantastically sweet, sexy, and serene all at the same time.  I need more fingers on which to count my blessings.....

This new medicine has me amped the hell up!!!  When Dr. Feelgood said it was going to 'give me a little more energy' he was not kidding.  The only problem is, I've never felt artificial 'energy' like this, so I keep going around like a meth head or coke head or whoever it is that's always all paranoid.  I keep thinking, 'Oh God, people are going to know I'm all wonky right now, they are going to think I'm on drugs!!!!'  Weird damn feeling.  I keep running into the bathroom to see if I look any different.  It's kind of fun, in a twisted and exhausting way.

Papoose #2, after finding me madly scrubbing the sink at 6am: "Uh, mom, are you ok??  Do I need to call someone for you?"  Yeah, THAT out of character.  Haha.

Steel cut oats are a pain in the ass to cook in the microwave.

I need a walking partner.  I need to get out and hoof it, and I want to do it with someone that will hold me accountable for showing up.  Don't worry Mess, you are off the hook.  haha.

My hair itches again.  Wtf?

So, when MW and I were separated, he lived with his Best Friend.  His Best Friend likes to frequent tittie bars and also to hire the temporary favor of call girls.  He used to order them off of Craigs List all the time.  One weekend when the Papooses were visiting their dad over there, a hooker and her pimp showed up at the house.  MW hurried the Pooses out to the game room and shut the door.  What's a dad gonna do??  Anyhow, Best Friend managed, in all of his lusty escapades, to get himself The Herpes.  Before he knew it was The Herpes, he came in to MW's room and said "Dude, look at this weird shit I have going on with my balls!!!"  that was the first time MW called me, begging to be allowed to move back into the house.  Best Friend has since married him a little chickie from Mexico, and has not bothered to let her in on his little medical secret.  They have lost one baby already, and she is currently pregnant again.  After they find out she's pregnant again, they realize she had a huge round of dangerous for the baby inoculations just after she must have become pregnant.  So they are batting a thousand just about now.  Poor baby.

ANYHOW, over the past several months, MW has had a strange red area show up on his forehead.  Like a Hindu dot.  Right between the brows.  Not super obvious, but there.  Now the past few weeks, his nose has this bizarre majorly obvious red mark all across the end of it.  He keeps claiming it's a zit.  Number one, that man never gets zits, never has.  Number two, it never turns into a zit and has been there for WEEKS on end. So of course, I've decided that he's got The Herpes.  He tried to get him some the other night, and I tried to be polite, but really, how do you politely tell someone that you have ZERO interest in sleeping with anyway, that you are pretty certain they have The Herpes???  There's just no polite way.

Yeah, now he's mad at me.

But that's just too bad.  I don't have time to get The Herpes.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dr. Feelgood, Indeed!!!

Happy "There BETTER Be Some Humpin Goin On Today", Day

Oh my, I think my meds have me all wonky today.  Doc added a new one after our visit yesterday.  Not sure about all this.   I could barely remember to take the ones he had me on before.  And he talked about trying something else too. I was like "Whoa there buddy, until a few weeks ago, I refused to take Advil unless I thought I was dying, ease up on the Dr. Feelgood rush, ma man!!"

I gained three pounds from the last visit I had there a month ago.  I am a bad bad girl.  I tried to tell him it was because I had to pee really really bad.  He wasn't buying it.

Ok, anyone out there that even GLANCES at this damn blog, listen up!!!!  IF YOU KNOW ANYONE THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE CHICO SCHOOL SYSTEM IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, PLEASE PM ME AND LET ME KNOW ASAP.  I'm not joking.   Do it.  Do it now.  I will kiss you and buy you dinner if you can help me with something that's going on.  I swear I will.

Papoose #2 has been asking myself and her sister to please take her to get her hair cut.  Some layers put in or something, some shape to it.  It has been growing out from a short little bob for like a year now.  She needed it.  We of course kept blowing her off, not on purpose, but from lack of time.  Ok, we could have put more effort into it, I admit.  Shame on us.  Well, yesterday after school as she was waiting for me to finish up at the doc and come pick her up, she took matters into her own hands and went to a place in town and had it done herself, with her money she has earned from working Job #2 with me.  She was excited about the cut, which looked adorable, but more so about the fact that that is the first really adult thing she has done all on her own, with no assistance from either myself or Papoose #1.  It was fantastic listening to her say that.  Miss them being young and all mine, but so love watching them grow and mature into the AMAZING women they are becoming.

I was pissy with The Real Deal yesterday and last night.  I felt I was being ignored and I was pissy.  I can't quite decide if I had a real reason to be pouty, but I think I did.  Anyhow, he spoils me with how he is to me, and he is so busy lately trying to get everything all set up that sometimes he's a tad too busy to give me the attention I'm used to from him.  That's not to say he ignores me, he never does that.  That is to say that I'm spoiled and get all pouty if I need more attention than he is able to give sometimes.  So yeah, that's on me.  Nevermind, we aren't talking about this anymore.  Hahaha.  Thanks for being there guys and helping me talk myself through that one.  Free therapy right there.

My hair itches.  I think these meds are making me more crazy, because I could swear my hair itches right now.  Wtf?

I have to go now.  There is no telling what I might type at this point.

Bye, all.  Have a fabulous day. I'll chime in later when I have time.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

For Reals?

Well, thank God I gave Papoose #1 a car before this happened!!!!

I have only ever called the police on anyone one time.  When Mister Wonderful was stationed in Panama, at the canal, we had a party at our house.   He drank way too much and all of a sudden got all belligerent, insisting that he had seen me smoking cigarettes and making out with one of his buddies.  Umm, we had like 40 people at our house, and I was busy keeping track of our very young papoose and making sure everyone had food and music etc.  Anyhow, he got worse and worse till I had to send everyone home.  One guy stayed there with me, because by that time MW had picked up the still hot bbq and hurled it across the yard, pulled a door of the hinges, and had begun climbing the cinder block wall of the house, heading for the second story to get into a window.  Even though he had already torn the back door off.  By the time the military police arrived, he was standing in the front yard with the garden hose down his pants, singing "I Wanna Be An Airborne Ranger" at the top of his lungs.  I will never forget that whole scene, something straight out of a movie.  There was a coconut tree right behind him.  The look on those MP's faces could never be duplicated.  They really didn't know what to do with him.  By that time, he had forgotten what he was pissed off about and was happily hosing off his gonads for Lord knows what reason, singing his little heart out.  They ended up piling him into the car and taking him to his sergeants house for safe keeping.  When he woke up the next morning, he had absolutely NO clue why he was there.  Where were cell phones with video back then???  This story is what reminded me of that, for some crazy reason.

Oh, my........this should never be allowed.  This right here is at best child neglect, and at worst child abuse. God Almighty.

Ok, I'm  outta here again.

Amen Brutha

Tuesday

My left boob hurts like a sumbitch today.  And no, it's not from anything fun, either.

Papoose #2 is way sick.  Poor Poose.

I can't drink hard liquor, breaks me out in the most ridiculous red raised rash.  Gross.  This is so sad, because I have some things that I thoroughly enjoy using a little coconut rum for, on occasion.......but alas, beer is the only poison I can drink whenever I do imbibe.

I have foggy head today, like medicine head, or like I'm hung over....not so.  Weird feeling though. Bleh.

Papoose #1 told Papoose #2 to try a certain hair styling product line several months ago.  After many futile wild goose chases searching for the stuff, we finally gave up, assuming Papoose #1 had lost her mind and was hallucinating  these wonder products.  Well, I finally found them, they are finally carrying them at Wally World.  Girls, I don't know if you have tried any of their stuff, but I'm telling you, IT WORKS.  I have very fine thin blond hair that has always been impossible to do anything with.  I can't take a curling iron to it and expect it to curl well, no matter what products I've tried.  If I do manage to get it to curl, it lasts mayyyyybe 10 minutes, if that.  Not so with this stuff.  Plus, most other products make my hair look greasy or crunchy or just gross, but this stuff makes my hair pay attention and follow orders and my hair is never sticky or crunchy or greasy.  I was amazed.  It't the "Not Your Mothers" product line.  This stuff is incredible.  I still had curls in my hair the next morning, from curling it for work the day before.  Stuff is cheap, too!!


I grew up in a hunting family.  But they never did the whole feed them corn all year then hide in a treehouse and shoot them thing.  They actually HUNTED the deer/moose/elk, whatever.  My first horse was one of my dads best hunting horses.  Those are hard to come by, by the way.   A horse is a prey animal.  Having one that will calmly let you shoot from their backs and carry out a deer or elk carcass for you is a treasure.  Loud sounds and the smell of blood is something they tend to want to get far away from as fast as they can.  Anyhow, was amazed to learn about the "hunting" practices here in Texas after we moved here.

I really need to figure out where to take Papoose #2 for her birthday get together.  Ugh.

Safety meeting today here at Job #1.  Made it through the donut shop gauntlet with nary a boob touching my back.  Yay.

Was supposed to meet an old friend at GoGo Gumbos yesterday after work.  Note to self, GoGo's is closed on Mondays.  We were ticked.  We had to settle for that swill at Dos Chilis.  Uber gross.  Their food just is not as good as it used to be.    Besides, I work at a freaking mexican restaurant, and every damn time I actually get to go out and eat, or someone brings something back for lunch, what kind of food is it??? Freaking mexican.  Lordy.

You know how some days you just want to be left alone and have some quiet time with nobody bothering you??  Yeah, I'm needing one of those days, really bad.  But I work literally seven days a week, and have tons of stuff going on with Papoose #2 etc in the evenings, and I just never get any time to just 'be'.  Sometimes I just don't want to have to talk to anyone or listen to anyone or have to be nice and polite to anyone.  With both jobs people are in my face constantly.  I HAVE to interact with people constantly, it's not optional.  Usually I'm ok and keep on keepin on.  But every once in awhile I just want to be left the hell alone for awhile and not have to smile and play nice.

I'm loving the rainy weather.  You all can thank me for the rain, by the way.  I went to the car wash and sprayed the hell out of the jalopy yesterday after work, before I met my friend for our dinner.  I know that every time I wash my car, we will get some kind of wet weather, so you are welcome.

Have a good Tuesday, all.  I need to get some more work done now, and I've bored you enough.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Happy Monday, My Friends

We had a Portuguese Water Dog out on the patio at Job #2 this weekend.  It was the most adorable thing, and the most gorgeous cappucino color with white feet and chest.  Fluffy cute overload.  Meant to snap a picture of him, but kept getting sidetracked and never did.  Dang it.

Speaking of doggies, there is a new addition to the tepee.  Little tiny male chihuahua dog.  He stands only three inches high and his entire body is only about 6 inches long, stem to stern.  Adorable.  Baby anythings have always been my responsibility around the tepee, not so this time.  This time it was Mister Wonderful's doing to bring the lil fella in, so he has been handling the hassle of puppyhood himself all weekend.  Puppy came into the house Friday night and I worked all weekend.  Have to give props to MW, he did a pretty good job of it and never  bitched once.  So far.

The last small puppy I had around the house, I had to leave in MW's care for all of three hours.  In the middle of the third hour, I received a text from MW asking if we have any mineral oil around the house.  I ask why did he need mineral oil.  He says well the back of the box says that is really the only safe way to safely remove a puppy from a sticky rat trap.  You know, the huge ones that are like 12" long?

Yeah, so the fact that the current lil fella made it through the weekend in tact and not twitchy is saying something, hence the props to MW.

Of course, if that puppy doesn't learn to sleep at night instead of whining all night long, I may kill him, but that's another blog entry entirely.

I had the BEST time Saturday at Job #2!!!!!!!  I got to meet Mess in person.  The second we sat down we started chatting it up like we'd known each other forever.  It was freaking greatness.  She brought Coach and this other huge slab o manhood with her that they swore is a high school student, but damned if he didn't look like some NFL player cruising through the place.  HUGE dude.  Mess and Coach are the absolute neatest funniest people you could ever hope to meet.  They need to get their asses moved up to my neck of the woods asap!!!!   I've met some very cool people through this blog world, and don't you think I'm not aware of just how lucky and blessed I am for that.

And I got to introduce The Real Deal to them.  He got back from a meeting just before they were leaving.  Bonus!!!

I'm figuring up a plan on how to get some of us together as a group for some grub and beer or something.  What a riot.  Makes me mad all over again that I missed the last shindig I wanted to meet everyone at.

Did I mention yet that Papoose #1 died DYED (I cannot believe I actually typed and posted that typo yesterday, ugh) a major part of her hair purple?  Well, she did.  Oy.

Papoose #2 will be turning 15 in a week or so, and seems to want to do something laid back for her birthday like Main Event or something like that.   We stopped by a place called Itz Family Center or something like that, to check out the pricing etc, and it was RIDICULOUS how expensive it was.  I mean, I would be willing to pay a little bit, if the kids had unlimited time to play on all the games and stuff, but 25.00 per person for AN HOUR??  Seriously??  So I was going to look into like the place in Ft. Worth that has putt putt and go carts and some games etc, see if that is any more reasonable.  Idk.  Ideas on this are very welcomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Freakin Friday Again

Got that crazy ass cat dropped off to her new owners.  She was incredibly well behaved while they handed her back and forth in a busy parking lot just off Hwy 114......I was a wreck hoping the kid wouldn't drop her and see her dart off into traffic......

Afterwards, went to my pedi that TRD bought for me.  It was as fabulous as it could possibly be.  They were a tad busy, but in the good way, where they have you sit in the massage chairs getting a back massage and soaking your tired feet while you wait for them to get to you.  I could have said "no, no hurry, take your time" for hours!!

Jacked up one of my pretty pink toes before I ever even got home.   Damn clutch.

Got my eyebrows waxed too.  They were a smidge out of control.  I'm a freak, but I quite enjoy the type of pain you endure when you get waxed.  Yep.  Therapy.

I have a lot to get done today during the day, but surprisingly, I have NOTHING I have to do after work!!!  I will actually get my closet cleaned out and some house work done.  Bonus!!!

Anybody out there have an old metal water tank or pool  I can buy???  LabPup loves the water and plays in his water buckets every day till they are thick mud.  I am concerned about this as we start getting really hot weather.  He has about a 1/4 acre yard he stays in during the day while I am at Job #1.  I gave him my old dog Turke's kiddie pool and he loved it.  Played in it for hours.  But then when he was done playing in it, he tore it into many many small pieces.  Yes, one of the big kiddie pools like you buy at Wally World.   Needless to say, he will not be getting another one of those till he is a grown up doggie and doesn't eat his pool anymore.  Metal would be nice though.....

Had a semi hauling some misc stuff on a lonnnnng flatbed trailer pull out in front of me around a corner onto 114 this morning.  He was clear in the oncoming lane, he was going so fast to run the red light that would have had him stop and make a right on red.  He just HAD to make that right without stopping, I guess.  Some of the crap he was hauling slid off the truck.  I'm going to make a stretch and say that pulling over and hauling that crap back to the trailer and reloading it took him a fair bit longer than stopping at the red light then turning the corner would have.  But that's just my guess.

I have managed to piss off one of the people I work with here at Job #1 to where they aren't speaking to me.  Oh well.  What I said was the truth.  It was an understandable request.  Pfft.

Also, the days of me giving two shits if anyone is pissed at me are lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng gone.  Cest la vie   :-)

WE start OUR volunteer program tomorrow morning bright and early.  I capitalize WE and OUR because it was supposed to be HER volunteer program.  I was framed.  Roped in.  Duped.  Ugh.  Good thing I love that Poose #2.

I really want to be one of those people that is organized and keeps their shit in order.  I just really don't even know where to begin.

Have a good Friday, all.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Nekkid In The Backyard and Wet Pussy

I was behind a propane delivery truck this morning.   He didn't stop at the railroad tracks in town.  Shame on him.  I was only behind him because he cut me off at the last possible minute, rather than using his blinker and planning ahead earlier to get into my lane.  Yes, evidently he IS the only one on the road.

I don't know what is going on around the tepee, but all of the animals have been absolutely off their rockers the past few days.  Normally, both dogs know the routine and settle in for the night when they are put in their beds.  No muss, no fuss.  The cat is locked out of my room for two reasons, one, because I am slightly allergic to her and she makes me itch, and two, because the little ho bag won't just lay down and go to sleep, but does the slow creeper thing into the window blinds, making long slow racket and waking me up.  Or she knocks stuff down.  Oh, and she steals stuff.  All the time.  Cat is a major klepto.  Anyhow, for the past two nights, all three of the demons have refused to settle down.  The dogs are whining, psyching me into thinking they need to go outside, so out we go, then back inside, they run around the living room grabbing their toys out of their toy bucket, like it's early evening playtime or something.  I swear, I've spent hours outside in the yard in nothing but a tee shirt and panties with a stupid look on my face saying 'look at that beautiful moon' and 'hurry up, for God's sake!'   Maybe that's it, maybe it's the moon that's causing it.  Idk.

Yeah, I go outside half dressed all the time.  Heck, even HALF dressed is an improvement for me.  I am notorious for wandering around naked or half dressed.  Always been that way.  I guess I've just been practicing for the days when I lose my mind completely, and you see the "Silver" alert signs on the highway, telling people to be on the lookout for the crazy old lady with wild hair wearing nothing but marti gras beads.....

I had a nice night hanging out with The Real Deal yesterday evening.   We ran a couple of errands, then drove around the lake looking for new store locations.  What a fabulous impromptu sweet and romantic night.  I just don't think there is anything I could ever do in his company that I wouldn't be completely and utterly content.  I am blessed.

Finally heard from Papoose #1 last night.  Correction.  I called her, she didn't voluntarily call me.  Haven't heard from her at all for many days.  I know she is alright though, because she will post this and that on Facebook.  What kind of a world do we live in that a squaw has to look to a social network to be assured her papoose is ok?  Not a happy squaw.  Was out hunting and gathering last night and saw a hair product that I thought was one she had told Papoose #2 to try, so whipped out the cell and sent some smoke signals to double check.  Papoose #1 must not have paid attention to the caller id because I'll be damned, she actually answered.  Pfft.

Papoose #2 has an away track meet today.  That freakin kid can run.  A long, long, long time.  Sure as heck didn't get that from me!!!  That's one thing Mister Wonderful had to offer, that's for sure.

Endurance is a good thing.  She will never be a victim of a bad horror flick, where she's running away from the maniac through the woods and grows tired and stumbles.  Thank goodness for that.

I think it's cute that someone in my office who swears to someone else in my office that she never reads my blog anymore, actually reads it every day.  So sweet.  HI THERE SUGAR TUSH!!!

I have a kitten to deliver to her new owners after work today.  Have to go home at lunch and give her a little bath.  Calling her a kitten, at five months and full grown set of claws, is a stretch though.  This could be interesting.  Have you ever washed a cat that is not used to even being handled??  Yeeeehawwwwww!!!!

The payment for grooming and delivery of said demon kitty is my first pedicure of the year though, so I may be bleeding, but dang it, I'll damn sure have cute toes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Therapy.  All I have to say.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Humpin It




I'm incredibly frustrated with myself for not having the willpower to get back in shape and eat right.  It's like I'm possessed, or something.  I have never had this issue before.  It's always been that I decide to do something, and I just do it.  Not so anymore.  I am really starting to get pissed off at myself.  I wish I could just get hypnotized or lap banded or something, to take the choice of making bad decisions away.  I dream of being locked away at some fat camp somewhere where I am forced to work out and eat right, until it becomes a natural habit again.  Save me from myself.

One of the guys that has been made manager at Job #2 is a nice enough person, but a tremendous pain in the ass as a manager.  He thinks he has to micromanage every step I take.  He is one of those people that is a know it all to begin with, and as soon as they made him a manager he started acting like he owns the place.  It's absolutely infuriating.  I will be talking to a customer or another employee, and he will literally butt right in, vocally and physically.  If I am doing something, he will come hang over my shoulder and ask what I'm doing.  And if The Real Deal and I are talking or sitting down to eat or trying to just have some time together, he will hunt us down and do everything in his power to take over the conversation.  I'm about to sic CTM on him and let her get all stabby.  I'm not the only one that's ready to kill him, either.  But I am the only one in a position to tell him off.  I finally did.  In  a nice way.  No, really.  He had been nipping at my heels all night and when I finally sort of clammed up to keep from saying anything in front of anyone that somebody (not me) might regret, and he walks up to me and says "WTF are you pouting about now??  It's totally obvious"  I asked politely if I could please have a word with him in private.  I explained to him that I was not 'pouting', I was saving someone (not me) from a tremendous amount of embarrassment.  I went on to explain, in my most diplomatic voice, that not only is he not my boss now, he never has been and he certainly never will be.  I explained to his little brain that within the next couple of years, I will own the restaurants that he feels like he is cock of the walk in right now, and if he didn't back off and quit pissing me off, I could fully guarantee that he would not be working there as a cook, much less a manager.  I told him that I had thus far never pulled rank on anyone, never had any reason to, but that he had pushed me too far.  We shall see how that goes.  The guy really is an ingrained prick, so we shall see.

There is a guy at Job #1 that, in the three years he has worked here, has no called no showed at least a dozen times that I know of.  He has never once been punished for it.  He has a key role here, so that when he pulls this it really messes up our system of getting customers issues taken care of in the shop.  It really pisses me off that he gets away with it, because you can bet your sweet ass, if one of us two girls here in the office pulled that shit, we would be outta here without the courtesy of a reach around.

Anyone know of a decent bone yard for BMW's and all the parts there of????

I get to meet a blogger friend on Saturday!!!!!   Soooooooooo beyond excited.  I wonder if my ass will look bigger in person than it does on this here blog???  Hmmmmmm..........

I've got a repayment plan worked out with the mortgage company so I can get all caught up from the couple times I was made late by you know who not throwing in his part.  Now THAT makes me sleep better, I can tell you that much!!

I want to go to the zoo.  I've not been to a zoo in years.  Which one is the best to go to around these here parts??

Good hump day on ya, all.  Get after it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

TuxedoShadow All One Word

Every time I eat blackberries or boysenberries, I flash back to being a kid.   When I got to stay with my grandparents during the summer, I ate them right off the vines they had growing all the way around their property.  Mmmm.

I was sick Friday.  It was one of those sicks where you spend the entire time willing yourself to just die and get it over with.  It sucked balls.  I went in to Job #1 long enough to take care of some paperwork I needed to do, then I rolled my sorry hide back home.  I was even too sick to sleep any.  It really sucked balls.

Mister Wonderful showed up at Job #2 Saturday night with his best friend.  They drank.  And ate.  But they drank more.  MW was having such a fabulous time that he fessed up to even more misbehavior while they were sitting there visiting.  Interesting.  I wonder if there is a single woman where he works that he hasn't had some kind of tryst with.  They left around 11 or so, in the best friends car, as MW had left the truck at the friends house.  When Papoose #2 and I finished up with work and made the hour drive home, pulled into the driveway and he still wasn't home, I worried. I tried to call his phone, I texted his phone.  No answer.  I was up till 3am worrying about him being crashed on the side of the road or dead or something.  When he finally rolled into the house trying for snuggles, I sent him to the couch and laid in my bed for a couple more hours without sleeping because I was so upset about his inconsideration.  Why do I do that to myself.  I'm an idiot.

As if working 7 days a week is not enough, add to that the three mornings a week I have to haul Papoose #2 in to school by 6:15am for practice etc, now we are adding early mornings on Saturday and Sunday.  Papoose #2 has been waiting to turn 15 so she can volunteer at a certain place.  Now we find out that yes, she can volunteer there at 15, as long as her PARENT OR GUARDIAN IS VOLUNTEERING TOO.  Liability insurance reasons.  So, guess who has added volunteer work to her plate?  Can I get a WootWoot for an Angry Squaw?  *heavy sigh*  But, the kid just has so much go get um, I can't say no to certain things that fuel her passions.  So, now instead of sleeping in till 8am on Saturdays and Sundays, we will be leaving the house by 7am, rolling out to volunteer, then heading straight from there to Job #2 both days.

Good times.

We've had some changes here at Job #1.  So far, more work and stress for me.  I'm sure things will be cool once the dust settles though.  That is what I keep telling myself.

I got my oil changed and an alignment done on the jalopy yesterday.  Took off work an hour and a half early to do it, since it's a 45 minute drive and traffic tends to be hell that direction.  Didn't want to be late for my appointment.  Well, that was a waste of a paycheck, since I sat there waiting, and they didn't even pull my car in to start on it till 6:45pm!!  The place I go to has two locations, this was my first experience with this location.  I was not amused.

However.................

For the first hour I was there, I shared the waiting room with a rather interesting fellow.  His name was Clifford, "Like the large red dog" is how he explained it to everyone that walked through the door, and to every single person he spoke with on his cell phone as he conducted personal business at top volume during the hour we shared space.  He was dressed in his McDonalds work clothes, and had a copy of a Star Trek novel on his lap.  You are getting the picture so far?  While we waited, he called his bank and insurance company at least a half dozen times, to talk to them about is discount now that he reached 25 years old.  Then he moved on to the issue he was having with a dating website.....and this is where it got really entertaining.  That kid handed out information and details about himself that are seared into my brain.  There are some things you just can't unsee or unhear.....he went on and on about the level of adult services he had experienced through the sites, and even told them what they needed to do differently, as well as what he was looking for in the future, IN DETAIL.  The argument began over his misunderstanding about the auto enroll/billing system.  Let me put it this way, this guy was so out there, he may as well be putting aside McCash each week to buy him some female companionship.  Lordamighty.  Oh, and he looked like Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley.  I actually snapped a pic of him, but I don't know the legalities of posting it here.  Fellow bloggers, input?

Ladies, his "code name" as he kept referring to it, is 'TuxedoShadow, All One Word'.  We heard him repeat that, in his sexiest come hither Rico Suave voice, at least a hundred times.  I kid you not.

What a goober.

***EDIT:  No longer concerned about posting his pic.  Google his handle.  Oh.Dear.Sweet.Jesus.

or not.........

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Great Music, AWESOME Movie

May The Luck O' The Irish Shine On Ya Today



I'm Irish.  This day IS all about me!!!  So there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whiskey In The Jar has been remade a million times, but I still like to listen to the tad crazier closer to original versions myself.  Hey, I could have tortured you all with bagpipe music, which I adore but many people think of as nails on a chalkboard, so get over it!!!

Happened upon Mister Wonderfuls facebook page a couple of days ago.  He is chatting it up with a twenty something year old blond hispanic gal in California.  He just can't get enough of us California girls, I guess.  Hahaha.  Tramp.

Him, not her.

Since it's spring break and Papoose #2 is off of school but hasn't gotten to do anything fun because I've had to work all week, I invited she and MW to come into town for lunch yesterday.  He was his usual charming self, doing nothing but going back and forth between bitching and sitting there sullenly.  Such a prince.  Then something happened that used to happen a lot when we used to go out places together more often.  I was out of iced tea, nothing but ice in there, and the waitress comes by and says "more tea?" to which I answer "yes, please" as she proceeds to pick up his still half full glass and fill it up, then walk away, leaving my empty tea glass sitting there, still empty.  I put my fork down, look at her as she's walking away, look at my glass, look at his glass, look at him....he's laughing so hard no sound is coming out.  Sheesh.  So about 20 minutes later, she comes back by, finally, and I'm pointing to my glass.  She finally fills it and looks over at his.  I'm like, "if you try reaaaaaaaaaally hard, you may be able to fit some more in there for him" *smiling*  she walks away.  MW pipes in "I'd sure like to fill her up" um, Papoose #2 is sitting right there, superdad!!!  Oy.  I look at him and say "yes, that is probably just about what you need, a young impressionable maleable gal that barely speaks english, maybe you can get away with all your bs with one like that".  To which he responds "Hell no, I'm not starting over again, I may as well put up with you, starting over is too much of a pain in the ass.  They all expect you to actually be SWEET to them, f*ck THAT!!!"

Boy do you have a surprise coming soon, buddy boy.  Cuz this dogs been kicked one too many times.

BEOTCH.

Satan dog went home yesterday.  The angels sing.

LabPup is so dang smart in some ways, and in other ways he is just not the brightest crayon in the box.  I've taught him complicated tricks and jobs and things to help me out with chores etc.  He can do dang near anything I ask him to.  Spent time last night trying to teach him to shake hands/paws.  Umm, absolutely nothing, not even the beginning glimmer of understanding.  I've never run into a dog I couldn't teach this simple trick to within 5-10 minutes.  Bizarre.

Not scheduled to work Job #2 today, but I'm thinking of going in for awhile after I get off Job #1 because it will probably be a pretty fun atmosphere today, it being St. Patrick's Day, and all.

Kiss a leprechaun,  drink some green beer, find a surrogate blarney stone, do whatever tickles your clover and have a fabulous ST. PATTY'S DAY all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy St. Patty's Day To All My Brethren!!!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Quiet Tuesday

Mister Wonderful announced last night "I don't like you, you don't like me. Live with it".   Seriously???  Who would decide to just 'live with' something like that??  Ok, yeah, a lot of people do, I realize this. Up till a few years ago, I was one of those people, so who am I to talk....

I'm an only child.  I really wish I could have had siblings.  There is something intrinsically different about people that are only children vs people who grew up with siblings.  People that have brothers and/or sisters know how to love better.  They have something extra in them.  Only children, on the other hand, no matter how wonderful of a person they are, are lacking somehow, emotionally.  We have something missing.  We don't know how to love selflessly, unconditionally and naturally, the way people with siblings do.  I'm not bashing only children, I'm just pointing out a fact that I've noticed in myself and others.  I am intrigued with watching siblings together.  Even when they aren't getting along, there is a bond there that is so natural and so strong.  Love it.  This belief is what led the argument for me to have Papoose #2.  I swore that I would not only have one child, if it was in my power to avoid it.  Good thing I finally got MW to relent all those years ago, because come to find out, I was already pregnant with her.  Haha.  

Satan Dog goes home tonight or tomorrow morning.  He has actually been much more well behaved than he was the last time I had him.  I guess the neutering and a little age has finally kicked in.  Major props going out to Papoose #2 for being such a massive help with him.  She has let him sleep in her room every night.  I was not sure how I was going to manage to keep he and LabPup from playing all night.  Thanks for having mom's back, Poose!!!!!

Papoose #1 is having some pretty grown up drama with ExBoyfriendMan.  Ugh.  Men, why do you have to lash out in anger to cover up for hurt feelings or vulnerabilities?  I mean, kid, I love you to pieces, but YOU f*cked up.  You had many opportunities to get a job and pull your weight.  She's not your momma, and she's not your wife.  Grow some balls and be a man already.  Get over it.

One thing I am INSANELY happy to see, is that neither of the Pooses will put up with crap.  They have huge hearts and are incredibly loving, but after watching the way their fatherperson treated me all these years, instead of going for men that are exactly like him, they are both proving to be intelligent and insightful enough to do the exact opposite, and only accept the best treatment.  Thank God.  I worried so much that I may be ruining them as adult women, by staying so long.  Thank you, God, thank you.

This whole earthquake, tsunami, nuclear meltdown thing is so horrific that I honestly don't think anyone that's not actually living in it can fully understand the actual scope of it.  Pictures, videos, and news coverage just cannot convey the full affect.

Job #1 is sooooo quiet today.  I'm loving it!!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Japan

Before and after pictures of different areas.  Slide the blue bar left and right to see each area before and after.  So scary.  So very scary.  To imagine my Papooses or anyone somewhere like that when it happened.  Heart breaking.  Mother Nature is so much more powerful than we give her credit for.  This is all on a scale that is absolutely mind boggling.

To The Red Hat Lady



I've mentioned how entertaining Job #2 is for me as far as the people watching I am privy to.  Well, when you work with the public like we do there, to be really good at it, you need to read people.  You need to read them to figure out how best to deal with them.  When we are busy as sin and have a line out the door, you have to lead the customers, to get them to get on with it and get through the order as efficiently as possible, so you can help all the other people that are waiting in line.  I insist, however, that my cashiers remember to be efficient, but not at the expense of politeness.  Some of the kids I work with are 18-19 years old, and have to be reminded quite often that some people need a little understanding.

I've also mentioned before that whenever customers come in that are hard to handle, everyone has me take care of them.  I'm totally ok with that.  Well, this weekend we had the Red Hat Lady.

You could tell that she was an absolute beauty when she was younger.  Wavy auburn hair, gorgeous complexion, stunning eyes, tall, like model tall and thin with a very regal carriage.  She had on a dark purple sheath dress and a red straw hat.  Her husband was very hunched over, but looked like even before he aged, he was probably much shorter than she was.  He was using a walker and just barely getting around.  They came up to my register.  They had come in the restaurant and sat down at a table, not realizing that this type of restaurant was one that you come in the door, wait in the line, place your order, get a number, go get your own drinks, find a table, go pick your food up from the cooks when your number is called.  It was incredibly loud and busy, and nobody noticed that they came in and sat down without ordering first.

They finally found their way to my register, but couldn't understand what it was that they were trying to order. Evidently, they used to come to that building when it was a different restaurant many many years ago, and were confused by the changes to it.  Once I explained what kind of food we served, the sweet little hard of hearing husband starts SHOUTING out "I WANT  BEEF ENCHILADAS!!! AND I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS, I WANT ME SOME BEANS TOO!!!!"  And when I say he was shouting, man, he was SHOUTING as loud as his voice could carry.  It was hilarious.  So I put his order in and tell him he can go sit down if he would like.  Then I turn to his wife, and this beautiful regal woman looks around, then leans forward and quietly says to me "I'm so sorry, but I don't know what things are anymore. I don't know what to tell you to feed me, I don't remember what things are, or what I like, but I seem to think that I like simple things....."  So I told her not to worry, that I would put something together for her.  Then she couldn't figure out how to go get their drinks so I went with her and did it for her.  She couldn't remember if she liked ice in her water or not, so we discussed cold vs really cold.  We went with no ice.  She had no idea what her husband drinks, so I went to the table and asked him.  When I got halfway across the restaurant on my way back to get his tea for him, he screams "AND I WANT LOTS AND LOTS OF ICE, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT!!!"  haha. I got him lots of ice.

When their food was ready, I got it for them and took it to them.  The husband dug in right away and started screaming out how great everything was.  Cutie patootie, he was, had me crying, I was laughing so hard with him.  Then, before the wife would eat, she had to show me the pictures and Christmas cards she carried in her purse of her sons, daughters, and great grand children.  I listened to some stories about all of them as well.  Then I had to show her how to pick up her taco.  And unwrap her straw.

They were a beautiful couple, and sweet as pie.  It broke my heart to see her trying so hard to function, when she couldn't even remember what things were.   She had no idea what different food or drink items were.  But she told some beautiful and colorful stories about her past.  I felt so blessed to spend the time with them that I did.

Before they left, she asked me my name, and asked me to write it down on a business card.  She said she was going to keep it in her purse, in the envelope with the pictures of her family, because that is her "reminder folder".  She said that the one thing she can remember, is when she gets confused to pull out that envelope and it would remind her of the important things.

I hope that when she pulls that card out, she remembers where she was when she got it, and comes back in and sees me.

I'll take the 20 minutes necessary to help them any day of the week.  I was blessed to share space with them.

In the end, they helped me.

Those beautiful people were good therapy.

Stolen

mOnDaY

Not that anyone will be devastated or anything, but I don't have a whole lot to offer today.  I'm the only one in the office and also just don't have a lot of words today.

Working such late hours at Job #2, I see a lot of idiot behavior in vehicles, whether it's drunk drivers, road rage, racing or overly aggressive driving.  This is awful, but I'm surprised we don't see stories like this more often, with the amount of ignorant behavior there is out there.  Imagine, just going about your business, working your job, then BAM.  Horrible.

Seriously dude??  Man, if you can't get it without kidnapping someone, you need to hang it up.  Psycho ass.  That poor gal  :-(

We sell miscellaneous merchandise at Job #2 with our logo on it.  I had an older guy start yelling at me because the brand of golf balls we had in there were Nike brand and he won't play anything Nike!!! I mean to tell you, he was raising holy hell that we didn't have another brand of golf balls for him to buy.  I let him make an ass of himself for a couple of minutes before asking him just how specialized he felt a RESTAURANT needed to be in their golf ball marketing.  Asked him to line out a plan on exactly how detailed we needed to be about golf balls, when we sell tacos.  Some people just walk out of the house looking to be a jerk and pick a fight.  Really collapses their sails when you don't give them the fight they're itching for.  Jackwad.

The Real Deal is working so hard to get ahead and pave the way for us to have a future, that I hardly hear from him anymore.  I miss him terribly, and can't wait till we can get back to at least talking more often.  This is a rough road on the way to what will hopefully be a great future.  But man, I get pissy and feel sorry for myself sometimes.....he handles it well though.  More than once, he has said to me "baby, you can stop being a bitch any time now" always soft and sweet and with a smile on his face.  haha.  That boy just knows how to handle me, in more ways than one.

I like to listen to music on my computer, but hate the way one song is really soft then the next one will blast out so loud it scares the crap outta me, then the next one is so soft I can't hear it.  Just stay the same level already!!

Well, I need to get to work.  I'll find more stuff to bore you with later on.  Unlike a comment I recently had in an email, I do not "sit on the internet all day long"  ahem, thank you very much.

Later taters.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Good Weekend, All

Freakin Friday

My mother used to love Gallager.  He's 64 now and it looks like he collapsed for unknown reasons while doing a standup show in Minnesota.  I still catch myself using snippets from his routines sometimes.  Like when he would talk about women being insane from pms, and he would flip his hair back and say "I don't knowwwww, it was a crazy day!!"  So silly.

Now this goes completely against the concept of survival of the fittest (read: smartest) freaking idiot.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  Stupid people should be spayed and neutered so they don't procreate.

The devastation in Japan is horrific.  There are absolutely no words.

I believe I mentioned I am dogsitting Satan Dog for my friend while she takes her mother to Arizona to visit her brother.  He arrived at the tepee around 11:00pm Wednesday night.  Yeah, the woman doesn't work and has zero concept of what it's like to keep rational hours.  Anyhow, this dog cannot be penned up in LabPups 1/4 acre dog yard, because he jumps the five foot fence.  So he has to be tied out on a cable.  Well, MW had put my cable away somewhere, so yesterday when I was leaving for work I couldn't find it.  Had to use one of those tie out chains, instead.  Yeah, he was loose by the time I got off of work yesterday.  I had to traipse around to all of my neighbors looking for him.  Every neighbor wanted to visit, because 'we never see you around anymore, you work so much!!!'  Finally find the retard and bring him back home.  Go out and get LabPup.  Chaos ensues as two hundred pound dogs expend energy that, if bottled, would make me a gazillionaire.

Also by the time I found the retard and got him back to the house, I didn't have time to drive out and see Papoose #2's track meet.  This did NOT make me a happy Squaw.  I missed it.  She had a meet that was close enough for me to drive to, and I missed it.  Over a stupid dog.  I cherish the time I have left with my kids, I resent things getting in the way of that.  20 years from now, that dog will mean nothing in my life, but being there, or not being there, for my kids will always be the most important thing.  Grrrrrrrrrr.

Papoose #2 got a third in the 400 and a second in the mile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAY PAPOOSE #2!!!!!!!!!!!  Proud Squaw  :-)

Papoose #1 is carrying way too heavy of a class load this semester.  It would be okay, if she didn't have to work so many hours to pay her way through school.  As it is, she is not getting nearly enough sleep, because all she does is go to class, work, study and do homework.  Well, there was that midget wrestling thing, but that's another story.  Anyhow, she got to bed at 12:30 this morning, early for her, and was actually sleeping great (she suffers from horrible insomnia) and some yahoo got lit up and pulled the fire alarm.  Not only pulled the fire alarm, but set off some fire extinguishers as well.  So the fire alarm goes off at 3:30am and the kids are run outside with no jackets and kept out there while they check for fire, then vacuum all the fire extinguisher crap out of the dorm.  They got back in the dorms after 5:00am.

Another problem is, all of the dorm kids have to find other living arrangements for Spring Break, because they are not allowed to stay in the dorms.  She had it hooked up to stay in a friends room, but that happens to be a room in the apartment shared with her now ex boyfriend.  Ummm, back to no place to stay.  She found a spare couch to live on for the week at the last minute, but only has till 5:00pm today to get her things out of her dorm room before they lock it up for the break.  So, she had to skip her first class today to get her things packed and moved to her temporary residence before she had to get her butt to work.  Gets off at 4:00pm to head to another class at 4:15 and will be there several hours.  Poor kid.  She is on overload.  She is a bigger person than I, I could never do all that she is doing.  No way, no how.

It's going to be quiet around Job #1 next week.  Everyone is taking parts of the week off.  MW took the week off as well.  I hope everyone has a fun and safe week.

That's all I've got for now.  I'll find a fun song to get stuck in all of your heads here in a minute.  I have some work to do for now.

TGIF, Mo Fo's!!!!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

My Kind Of High

I've lived many beautiful places in my life.

I was born and raised in central California.  The Monterey Bay, to be exact.  Gorgeous place, really beautiful.  When I cut class, it was to go to Cannery Row, Santa Cruz, or, my favorite getaway Carmel Beach in the picture above.  My first ticket was a parking ticket outside of The Hog's Breath Inn, Clint Eastwoods saloon.  Even as a child I had no interest in settling there or raising children there though.

Off and on, I lived with my dad in Wyoming, Idaho and Montana, depending on where he was living at the time.  He tends to buy homes and swear he's settling down there, then fix the home up and sell it for a profit and move somewhere else.  He does always maintain property in Wyoming, near Jackson Hole, and that is where I spent summers and where MW, the Pooses and I lived for a while after MW got out of the Army.

When MW and I first married, he was in the Army and we were stationed in Panama, at the Canal.  We lived on a small base called Fort Espinar, and he worked at Fort Davis.  MW was gone a lot of that time, as that is when we had the Hondurans that were being scooped out of the water and detained all over the place.  Papoose #1 was a year old when we moved there.  We saw some beautiful and unbelievable things there.  We lived in a very end housing unit, our huge back lawn backed right up to the jungle.  We had a troop of howler monkeys that made their circuit along the jungle line down two sides of our house every morning.  We had a momma sloth that would park her baby in a knot hole of a tree in our back yard while she went off foraging and doing her slothy things throughout the day.  Panama is what taught Papoose #1 to fear bugs.  They had grasshoppers there that were a foot long, I'm not even exaggerating here.  It was a gorgeous, and a filthy poor, country to see, all at once.

After Panama, we lived in Kentucky for a couple of years while he was stationed at Fort Campbell.  Because the Fort actually straddles the border of Kentucky and Tennessee, Papoose #2's birth certificate says she was born in Tennessee, because that's the side the hospital was on.  I never got to see the Derby.  Dang it.

His new job took us to Colorado, the Mile High City.  Gorgeous place, once you got out of the foothills and into the real countryside.  Lots of quaint little towns I wouldn't have minded settling down in, but the towns/cities/suburbs were, at best, meh.

 Still, I would love to vacation there when time and finances will allow, really pretty place.



Then comes Texas.  We moved here in July of 2002, I think it was.  I have met so many wonderful people since moving here.  The schooling experience the Pooses have had in these small towns is absolutely irreplaceable.  The fact that we've lived places that the kids could run down the road or next door to play with friends, and those friends could show up at any time to play with them at our place, priceless to me.  Being raised in Cali, in town, you just didn't do those things.  I was never even allowed to ride my bike in the front yard.  I always wanted to raise my kids somewhere that all the teachers would know their names, and they could be in the country where they could get dirty and dig holes and have animals and run down the road to their friends houses and have impromptu sleepovers.  And that is exactly the life I made for them.  My wanting that for them is what brought us to Texas.  I feel love and gratitude for this place that has sheltered and raised my kids.  This place that has brought so many good people into my life, created the family I craved for so long, through friends and acquaintances.  I owe a debt of gratitude to this state and it's people, and I will never forget that.  Texas will always hold a huge part of my heart.

But more and more I am feeling the pull of the life I've always dreamed of for myself.  The quiet life in a cabin in the pines.  Warm wood and an easy going pace.  My dog.  The love of my life sitting next to me on the porch while we watch the sun go down over the water.  It's pulling me more and more insistently, whispering "this is the only life you've been given, start living it the way you want".  The peace.  Wind chimes and water flowing.  The smell of pine trees and the fireplace.   Hiking.  This is why I work so hard and so many hours.  I'm working toward a dream I've carried and comforted myself with since I was a lonely little girl with strange people passed out all over her house, and a mother that never knew what day it was.  I've managed to twist the road to this life, of my own accord with my own decisions, but rather than hold anger against myself for my idiocy, I'm trying to see that I still have time to chase that dream of a quiet life in the trees, on the water.

And dammit, I'm going to get it.

And, As A Segue........

This'll Piss Some People Off

So, the drug thing was a hot button.  I thought it might be.  Myself, being raised by an addict, and that entire side of the family being addicts in one way shape or form, I have my own opinions on the topic.  My mother abused prescription as well as illegal drugs, and as an only child I was a captive audience, to say the least.

I was born and raised in California.  Beautiful country there.  I managed to grow up with my own thoughts, opinions and view, despite the surroundings I was raised in, both in my home as well as the general attitude of the times in Cali.

I was raised with homosexuality and drug use all around me, living in the Monterey Bay in California.  Although I don't bash anyone with an alternative lifestyle, I don't necessarily agree with it either.  I really don't have strong feelings about it either way.  I will say that I am glad my Papooses both seem to be straight though.  So I guess that right there is an opinion in and of itself.

On drug use and abuse of any kind, I have more firm opinions.  I watched them ruin peoples lives.  Many many peoples lives, including my life as a child all the way up until my mother passed away.  I raised her, she didn't raise me.  We were blacklisted from the family because she had burned so many bridges with her use.  Three quarters of the kids I went to school with used one type of drug or another on a regular basis, to the point where I never really had much of a social life because every time I would try going out with friends, somehow dope of some kind would be brought into play.

I can't stand to be around it.  I become physically ill when I am forced to deal with any aspect of it.  Being raised isolated with people that were on one drug or another most of the time, I am insanely sensitive to it, to the point where I can peg if someone is on ANYTHING just by them walking in the door.  I am not exaggerating here.  I peg them at Job #2 all the time.  I pegged this one at Job #1 that didn't pass the piss test last week.  I may not say anything, but I will KNOW if you are on ANYTHING, and that includes any legal drug that is affecting you in any sketchy way.

I know and love many people that I know for a fact use.  As long as they don't ever do it around me or come around me or my kids while on it, that is their choice.  But if you ever try to be around me or my Papooses while you are high on anything, I will simply walk away.  That is my choice.

Now, as far as this attitude that so many people have about some drugs being worse than other drugs, I call bullshit.  Drugs are drugs.  I don't care if they legalize pot for glaucoma or any other damn thing.  It's bad for you, it affects your character and judgment, it's not any less 'bad' than any other drug.  It's dope.  Plain and simple.  Most of the people that say marijuana is 'different' or 'not as bad' as other drugs are generally the ones that use it, or are close to people that use it, and they are rationalizing a choice and a behavior.  Again, I don't judge people.  But I do not have to agree with them.

Finally, I am an adult, and whether or not I am around that type of thing is totally and completely up to me.

I choose no.

Drugs are bad.  They are bad for you physically, emotionally, and financially.  Anyone that is spending money on dope, I'm sure could find more beneficial ways to spend that money.  Furthermore, although I am not an overly religious person, I don't go to church anymore and I don't spout off bible verses to people, I do know one thing:  There is no way in hell Our Lord would condone putting anything in our bodies that is so horrifically bad for it.  Anything that destroys our lungs, livers, or brains is not going to be something that Jesus is looking down on us going "it's cool, dude, get your high on, it's just a little mary jane, it's not a real drug".

I know that alcohol is a drug, per say, and I know it is bad for us.  Yes, I drink, and yes, it's bad for me.  I do know that.

Again, I'm not judging, I'm not that kind of person.  But everyone was sharing their opinions, and I wanted to pipe in as well.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Go Skunky, Go Skunky!!!!!

Rabid, or Horny??? YOU Make The Call ;-)

Update on rabid skunk:

Coworker 1 did some research, and this could be a case of hormones run rampant.  Evidently, this strange behavior could very well be caused by Pepe' being so incredibly overrun with the springtime horniness that he has lost his mind and is out lookin' to get him some.

Maybe he is taking the same meds I am???

Developing............

P.S.  Corner, you come grab his head and his ass your own self, my man!!  I'll bake you some apple thingies if you manage to pull that one off!!!!!

On Skunks and Pocket Calls




Any time I have to call down to Mister Wonderfuls place of employment, which is RARELY, the girls there in the office are SO rude to me.  They all hate me with a passion.  Evidently they are all in love with MW and just cannot stand how awful I treat him.  This all started back when we officially separated and he moved in with his best buddy.  Lots of boohooing and poor meing at the office, I'm sure.  He nailed several of them.  One of them was so madly in love with him, and had been sleeping with him for years, that when he refused to get serious with her, she quit her job of 17 years there in the office, middle of the day, after lunch.  No notice, nothing.  She was heartbroken.  His Mustang Cobra was keyed not once, but something like 5 times after that.  Hope that poontang was worth it MW.   And broken hearted chickie???  You should have called me.  Had I known about all of this when it was actually going down, I would have GIVEN him to you!  Would have saved me the last 6 years and a shared house payment, at least.

Trust me, you dodged a bullet on that one, girlfriend.  Of course, I'm not sure the gang member vato you are engaged to now is a real step up, but you go girl.

Anyhow, what started all of this was a pocket call I got from MW while I was running out to grab something for lunch today.  Suffice it to say, he had a lunch date.  Nuff said.  Rather entertaining.  So, knowing he wasn't at the office, I called the office and when his Cerberus answered, I asked to speak with him and was informed he was not back from lunch yet.  I knew the message would get to him that I had called looking for him, which is practically unheard of.  It did.  I hadn't been back from lunch ten minutes when my phone rang.  It was him.  Sounding VERY nervous.  I simply said "I will show you how to set up your screen lock on your new phone tonight, so you stop pocket dialing people"  HAHAHAHAHA.  If you can't afford to divorce em yet, you can at least have fun pokin em with a stick  ;-)

Update on my shit shoveling friend:  OMG YOU PEOPLE DO THIS EVERY DAY????? ON PURPOSE?????  WITHOUT A COURT ORDER????  GOOD GOD, YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!!!!  And, evidently, there are no potties there for them to use.  Of course, you know me, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to say "are you telling me that you are shoveling shit all day, and there is no restroom for you to use?  Now that, my friend, is ironic!!"

We were all trapped by a rabid skunk here at work today.  Two of the peeps I work with were gone to lunch and came back to a skunk scratching at the back door trying to get in the office.  I sure am glad I didn't take off a few minutes early for my lunch hour, like I had thought about doing.  When they showed up he ran around the front of the office, but when they tried to come in the back door he came charging back around towards them.  Shout out to Coworker 1, you musta got some speed on ya there!!!  Coworker 2 said you were like a streak, there one second, and a shriek and some flying gravel and you were GONE!!!!

Coworker 2 distracted the poor sick thing so I could run to my car and get out to get something to eat. Senior Stinky was still under a car in the carport when I got back, but the gal that owns that car remote started it and he scurried off somewhere on the yard.  He is definitely sick though, and animal control is here to try and find him now.  I wanted to snap a pic of him, but he was so spazzy and unpredictable, I was afraid he'd maul me when I inevitably fell off my flip flops and busted my ass in the gravel, so I forgo the pic, sorry.

Maybe he wasn't in attack mode.  Maybe he was someones pet skunk that got lost.  Awwww, I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine!!!!!

Be right back, I'm gonna go skunk huntin before something happens to my new pet Squishy.  Come on Coworker 1, get my back, I know you've got the speed to catch him, flip flops be damned!!!!

A Little Ditty To Start Your Day

Hump Day Has Taken On A Whole New Meaning Since Starting These Meds

So, after the fiasco with the idiots at the electric company, I go by and pick up the goat crack and head home to make dinner.  No sooner do I get the chicken breasts pounded out and seasoned than the electricity goes out AGAIN!!!!!   I call in, this time it's a legitimate power outage.  Seriously?  Ugh.  Put the chicken back in the fridge and hope it doesn't last all night, because I have laundry to do.   And I'm spoiled and want my damn electricity on.

After hanging up with the electric company I actually fumbled around in the dark trying to plug my phone into the charger, because the battery was really low.  Yes, I screwed around for a couple of minutes trying to see in the dark to plug a cell phone into a charger plugged into the wall of a house that had no electricity.  Yep, sure did.

Papoose #2 and I shot some hoops then took LabPup for a nice walk down the road.  I was a bad mommy and when Papoose #2 got startled by something scurrying along next to us in the bushes, I started talking about if there was enough moon showing through the clouds for werewolves to be out or not.  Bad mommy, bad bad mommy.

Power was back on around 8:15 or so, made some kick ass chicken and parmesan pasta with cauliflower.  Did the eat in front of the tv thing while Papoose #2 watched Hellboy.  Interesting movie.  I have seen bits and pieces of it a hundred times, and never the entire thing.  Whatever shall I do?  *rolling eyes*

Someone very close to me racked up three DWI's within nearly as many years.  This happened seven years ago.  The punishment that went along with that last one is probably what saved his life.  While he sat in jail for a year after the third one, he was able to find the man that he was before he caught his wife cheating and allowed himself to crawl into the bottom of a beer can.  After a year in jail he finally went to trial, was given 10 years probation and all of the things that come along with that.  He has been 100% sober since the night he was arrested seven years ago, and is one of the most incredible people I've ever met.  He is incredibly kind, patient and generous.  Highly intelligent and creative.  I am so very thankful that he made it through his dark time alive and whole.  Now, part of the after party of a felony DWI is community service.  He has done some here and there, different places they send him to.  His most recent 'adventure' is with the mounted police.  In their stables.  Does it make me a bad person to have giggled when he called, mortified, and announced that he would be shoveling shit??  Because man, I'm telling you, I laughed my ass off!!!  Heck, for some of us, that's just a daily chore around the house.  For a city boy like him, it's the third level of hell.  He didn't complain, but he was way freaked out.  All I had to offer was "well, look at it this way....horse shit doesn't smell nearly as bad as dog or cat shit!!!"  He was not reassured.

My meds are definitely kicking in.  I'm walking around like a teenage boy with a Sears catalog propped open to the bra section.

Nobody is safe.

Question:  Someone pees hot on a drug test.  They are still in their probationary period.  Do you let them go, or give them another chance?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Who The HELL Makes a TWO DOLLAR Electric Bill Payment??????

So, I'm sitting here minding my own business, working, when Papoose #2 messages me, asking why the electricity is out at the house.

Ok, so we do lose power a couple of times a year, so I assume it's that, and give them a call to report it.

Uh, NO.  Lady on the phone informs me that my electricity has been cut off.  Evidently, making a two dollar payment on an electric bill that is $194.98 just isn't enough to keep the ol' juice a flowin', if you know what I mean.

The problem here is, I didn't make a two dollar payment, I made a TWO HUNDRED dollar payment.  Yesterday morning, first thing!!!!!

So that lady has to transfer me to another department to straighten things out, which is a good thing, because she was a rude bitch and kept talking over me and wouldn't let me finish anything I was trying to say, and while transferring me, she disconnects me.  Irony?  I think not.

I call back, busy.  Call again, busy.  Call a third time, steaming, get a person who asks me what department I need.  I have no earthly idea which level of hell I was being transferred to when I was disconnected by the snotty bitch, so I tell the receptionist "I don't know, whoever you send the bad kids to when they've not done their homework, maybe?"  This gal evidently was born without a sense of humor.  Hmmph.

So I get transferred again and listen to a canned guys voice explain to me that although my call is really important to them, it's not important enough for a real live person to talk to me until I've been on hold for the next millenium.  Not even any cheesy muzak, just that dumb ass voice over and over.

Finally I get someone with a pulse, explain my situation to her, she smiles (it really IS true, you can hear it if someone smiles as they talk to you) as she says, "Ok, that will be a hundred dollar reconnect fee, plus pay your bill amount, and we will get that turned back on for you in a jiffy!!!"

It is now a proven fact that blood can indeed boil.

I calmly explained to the nice lady that I was currently staring at my computer screen with my bank account pulled up and there was an obvious TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS missing from it, paid in full to one TRI COUNTY ELECTRIC COMPANY.  But she's a wily one, that gal, and pulls out "well, our system shows that you only paid 2.00, so you need to blah blah blah....."  I lost the tail end of that, because I was explaining, in my best inside(only if you are at a heavy metal concert)voice just exactly what she could do with her disconnect and reconnect fees, and that if ANYTHING in my fridge was ruined I was taking inventory and billing them, as well as billing them for my TIME if she didn't turn my blasted electricity back on immediately!!!!!

She agrees to take another 200.00 from me, not charge me the disconnect and reconnect fees 'just yet' in order to give me time to do the leg work of going to my bank and having them print something out showing that I ALREADY PAID the 200.00, not 2.00 and drive it the 30 minute drive to the electric company's office DURING BUSINESS HOURS, which means I have to take time off of work, as an hourly employee, to clear up a mess that their dumb asses created!!!!  "But", she says, "you can just go ahead and leave the first 200.00 payment here on your books for next month, if that helps??!!"

Gosh, ain't I the lucky one??????????????

Lady, if I could afford to just leave the 'extra' 200.00 with your dumb ass, I wouldn't be waiting WEEKS in order to afford a damn tire for my car like I did awhile back, now would I??????????  Sweet Mother of Pearl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is now 37 minutes after the phone call, and after I paid my electric bill in full FOR THE SECOND TIME, and, according to Papoose #2, we still don't have any electricity.

I want to shoot someone.  Or kick them really really hard, anyway.

Oh Yeah Baby

FAT Tuesday

I SLEPT LAST NIGHT!!!!  WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am rip roarin and ready to tear it up today!!!!!

I have never been one to bite my nails, but I have the most irritating habit of picking at or biting my cuticles.  I have them so sore right now I can't hardly stand it.  I don't do it as bad as I used to, well, not as often, I guess I should say, but man.  I have GOT to stop that.  I am 42 years old already, time to stop with the dumb a*s habits!

Shout out to my friend that is sick today.  Move your arse closer and I'll make you chicken soup.

Nother shout out to my friend who is finally feeling better and back at it.  Thanks for not kickin it on us.

This man and his family have been on my mind.  Sad situation.  I can't imagine being the one left to die, nor can I imagine being the family forced to do the leaving.  So incredibly sad.

There will be A LOT of pancakes consumed today.

We've been wearing Marti Gras beads at work.  It has been fabulously entertaining, the things people have done in order to talk us out of our beads.  Especially once they get a beer or two into them.  Haha.  "Sir, siiiiirrrrr, please, put your shirt back on and zip up.  Here, for the love of all thats holy, take the beads!!!"

Some guys have really weird nipples.

Did you guys look at that short video of the hamster running the miniature dog agility course??  Was that cute or what????  That's my kind of agility.  I've done agility with my dogs before, and they just flat out run me.  Hard work!!!  Of course, my problem tends to be tripping over things, or nothing, more than not running fast enough.  I am so uncoordinated, it's ridiculous.

I handle a lot of alcohol at Job #2.  There are many other people around me handling alcohol as well.  I'm never there for more than 15 minutes before something gets spilled on me.  Many times when I'm driving home exhausted afterwards, the thought runs through my mind that between being so tired, reeking of alcohol, and my honest lack of coordination, if I am ever pulled over I will most likely be arrested for dwi.  Even though I haven't had a sip.  Couldn't blame the cop, either.  No way could I do any of those little tests they give, sober as a choir member and well rested.

That dang phone I'm trying to get used to is having software issues.  That means I will have to go to Sprint and do battle to make them replace it without trying to charge me the 100.00 deductible.  This should be fun.  Bastards.

We're having a swamp thing issue in our backyard.   Something to do with the septic.  How do I know it's something to do with the septic?  My normally white LabPup came running into the house BLACK and smelling like sewage.  Yep, he took him a little dipskie.   Oh.Boy.How.Cute.

I've bored you long enough.  Get to work!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 7, 2011

FREAKIN' ADORABLE!!!!

mOnDaY





I actually heard someone say "Well, I follow Stewie from Family Guy on Twitter"  Really dude?

I think the government is doing some kind of experimentation on my family.  Nobody in the house has been sleeping well for days now except for LabPup.  Something in the water, maybe.  Conspiracy, I say, conspiracy.

Papoose #1 broke things off with her sweet boyfriend yesterday.  It was for the best for both of them at this point, but they truly do love each other and have such fun together, so it's just about the most gut wrenching thing in the history of ever.  Poor kids.  My heart just breaks for them both.

Job #2 was good this weekend.  The people watching just can't be beat.  That church crowd is one grumpy tight fisted group.  We have one man that comes in every weekend and claims he's never been there before and will snap at whatever cashier gets him.  Guess who gets him every time he comes in now.  Yep, you guessed it.  I get all the hard to handle customers.  Bring em on, it's like a sport to me.  I love exercising my mind to find new and unique ways to be a b*tch or put them in their place so politely they don't even know it's happening.  Good times.

I really resent the fact that there are people that read this blog that I don't want in my business, so I have to censor what I say here, of all places.  That is really starting to go up my a*s sideways more and more as time passes.

It's funny to me how the people that b*tch the loudest about not wanting to hear about other peoples business or drama are the ones that are right up in there stalking and putting their nose up in your business.  Sheesh.

I was running an errand for Job #2 Saturday and the guy in the lane to my left suddenly decided he desperately needed to get around the guy in front of him and swerved into my lane so quickly I had to swerve off the road to avoid being hit.  So did the guy that was to my rear on the right of me.  Little b*astard pissed me off so bad I sped up and followed him for awhile, just to jack with him.  I never do things like that.  But when I tell you it was close, ma peeps, that sh*t was CLOSE.  I had to swerve so hard that now my alignment on my car is all jacked up. THAT'S how close it was.  I had chest pains and shaking hands for over an hour afterwards.  I drive a lot, and many things happen like this, near misses that necessitate a good cussing out for whoever was involved.  But man, this one was bad.  I was still having chest pains off and on yesterday.  Stress pains, you know.  Whew.

I'm too old for that crap.

But man, you should have seen the look on that punks face when he saw that it was an old lady chasing his ass down!!!!  Priceless!!!  If I knew how to work this pos new phone better, I would have snapped a pic of the look on his face when we hit a red light and I pulled up, rolled down the window and proceeded to explain to him what a dumb a*s he was.   I told him I had his plate number and that I feed the city cops every day where I work and he better thank his lucky stars I wasn't on the phone with them already.  Punk.  The exchange was ended, after many "yes maam's" with him saying "um, that's a really nice car, by the way".

Making out in the car in the dark behind your place of employment is fun and makes you feel young again.  Just sayin.  

Friday, March 4, 2011

For My Mother

To The Woman I Learned The Sonata For

Mom,

I miss you every day.  I know we fought and you thought I was way too hard on you. I just wanted you to get better, thats all.  I know I nit picked and was bitchy to you.  I really didn't know any other way to handle it. I was young.  I had a husband that made me nuts and two kids I had no earthly idea how to raise.  I was doing the best I could.  Everything was a whirlwind for me.  I'm sorry.

I miss us trading books out.  I miss your sense of humor.

I wish you could have seen how these girls turned out.  They are the most incredible thing in the world, both of them.

I'm sorry I didn't come have a picnic with you that last week.  I was selfish, and lazy.  I hate myself for that every single day.  Every time I see someone act irritated with their mother, I wish that I could take back that phone call where you asked me to pick up some food and come see you and have that picnic....

I'm finally not angry with you for all of the things that happened all those years.  Too late, I know.  But still, I understand that you were doing the best you could and that you had your issues.  You did a good job, the best job you could manage, I realize that. I know you loved me with absolutely everything you had.  I know you just couldn't stop, no matter how much you loved me, loved the girls.  I understand.

I sure do wish you were here to see it all.  They are both doing so well, you would be so proud.  I am figuring things out too, so don't worry about me.  I'm making my way. I learned a lot from you. I learned a lot from watching you.  I'm sorry that I was so busy being angry with you that I forgot to love you so many times.

I'm sorry that I resented you for all of the things that happened.  I'm also sorry that they happened, as I am sure you are sorry that they happened.  I am sorry that I wasn't mature enough to move past all of this while you were here.  I'm sorry I didn't come see you more often while you were still where I could come see you.  I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter.

I'm sorry that the drugs were more powerful to you  than I was, than my daughters were.  I'm sorry that I was too hurt and selfish to try harder to find another way to help you escape from them.

I loved you.  I still love you every day.  I still think "oh, I need to tell mom that" or "I wonder if mom has this book yet"

If I had another chance, just one more day, I swear I would love you better.  I swear I would find a way to save you from yourself and keep you here longer, for us to love, so you could see all of the wonderful things you are missing.  I swear I would fix you.

I still love you every day.  I'm sorry I couldn't save you from yourself.

This was a long, hard day.

My Mother  7/15/47 - 3/04/05

Get It, Girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThankGodItsFriday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why I get so dang excited about Friday, I work all weekend too, hahahhaa.  Conditioning, I suppose.  Hope everyone has fun plans for the weekend.

I am LOVING this weather.  I despise the heat and dread it every year.  I'm a cool weather kinda fatty.

Papoose #2 did incredibly well at her meet last night.  VERY proud Squaw, who normally stays pretty mellow in the stands at such functions, especially if I think there is little chance the Pooses will hear me anyway, or if I have people seated very close to me, was standing screaming encouragement and praise to that kid like nobody's business!!!  Sore throat this morning from it.  She was a rockstar.

We have gas properties at the end of our road.  Bonus on that was that they paved our road.  Negatives on that are that the guys in the pickups that are in and out of there drive down our road like it's the frigging Texas Motor Speedway, as do the tankers.  This morning Papoose #2 and I were very nearly hit, again, by a tanker that was turning off of 730 onto our road.  They rarely even slow down very much and just swing wide across our whole road.  If you are sitting there, you WILL be hit.  It has happened twice on our corner already.  Those f*ckers need to realize that they are driving on OUR private residential street.  They wouldn't want that sh*t done in front of their house, so have a little g*ddamn respect already.

I love men.  I think they are sexy, intriguing, beautiful creatures.  Can't get enough of them.  Always been that way, probably part of the reason I've been attracted to very masculine (read: bastards) looking men.  Not saying all masculine looking men are bastards, just saying that what they looked like or how they rocked my world may have tended to encourage me to overlook some of their less than stellar personality traits.

But if I EVER thought about trying out the other side of the fence, I would TOTALLY do P!NK.   She is one sexy b*tch.

Shut up, Jar.  You know you'd rock her socks off too, given the chance.

Didn't drink a single beer last night, and slept like the proverbial baby.  Gotta try to do that more often.

I have agreed to dogsit a friends dog for her while she is on vacation for a week.  This is going to be a nightmare.  I watched him for her for a couple of months when she had a family member in the hospital.  This dog has more than a few screws loose.  He's huge, for starters, and she has never taught him any manners whatsoever.  You can't keep him fenced, he jumps any fence you put him behind, or digs out.  So you have to tether him on a runner.  Then he barks.  So I have to put a bark collar on him so the neighbors don't poison or shoot him.  He of course isn't house trained, and is such a hyper active idiot you can't stand to have him in the house anyway.  When I was watching him last time, he was so bad I took him and had all his shots done and had him neutered, just to calm him down some from humping everything in sight.  It helped.  But not so the general laymen would notice.   Anyhow, gonna be a beating.  She sure is lucky I adore her.  Stupid dog.

Enough for now. Let me get some coffee in me and maybe my brain will kick into gear for the day.