It Is What It Is

That is my "ommmm" saying.  I use that one when things feel like they are overwhelming me.  It reminds me that, no matter what is going on right now, or how horrible it seems, no matter how dark the moment seems, how frustrating or dire, there will come a better time and a brighter day.  I use that saying alot, and it's amazing how it really does center and calm me in moments of stress and frustration.

I used to stress out and lose my mind over things.  I used to freak out and get so upset that I really was a hindrance to myself in being able to find solutions to problems.  The Real Deal is the one that taught me that saying, and showed me by example how to live my life truly believing it.  He has had the kind of life that most of us never dream of, the kind of life that most people give up on and never make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.   Yet, this is the person that taught me how to hang loose, to relax, to realize that it's not over till the fat lady sings and that she hasn't even warmed up her vocal chords yet.....he is the one that taught me It Is What It Is.  Although I will still begin to get wound up, I now have the mindset and ability to tell myself it is what it is, calm down, and get to breaking the situation down and figuring out a solution to it.  Or, if there is no solution, to just letting it go.

I believe I have mentioned that my little car needs a new tire.  I do not have the 200.00 it will take to buy the new tire right now, because I have the mortgage and electricity to pay first.  So I've been driving the old explorer until I have the extra cash to buy the tire.  (I do not have any credit cards).

Well, evidently, Friday on the way home, Mister Wonderfuls car had something go wrong with it.  So I worked all weekend while he was home holding down the sofa and killing enemy soldiers online with all of his compadres.  This morning Papoose #2 and I head out the door to go to school and work, and lo and behold, the explorer is gone.  Mister Wonderful took it to work.  Left me with my car sitting on a barely aired donut tire, and his car with whatever on earth is broken on it.

So, I tell Papoose #2 to climb in my car and we will limp it to town, get some air in the donut, get her to school and me to work and I will make a game plan on what to do next during the day today.

First sign something was vewwy vewwy wrong??  Tried to move the seat forward because MW had left it as far back as it would go and the seat back cocked back as well (I mean, what did he do?? Put on baggy jeans, twist his ball cap to the side, cock the seat back and cruise around podunk hometown throwing gang signs at passers by?) seat would not move......uh oh.   Turned the key....NOTHING.  Battery is so dead it didn't make any noise or even attempt to start.

When he put the donut on it sometime last week or so, he left the lights on like an idiot and my battery is ruined I guess.

So I call MW and in the calmest voice I could possibly muster I ask "So, since it was obviously your intention to take the Explorer, which you know I have been driving for the past two weeks, without asking or informing me, did you not think, while you were home this weekend,  to make sure the car you did leave here was in any way, shape, or form drivable for your daughter and I to safely get to school and work?"   The tirade of cussing and yelling that came forth from the other end of the phone was ugly enough that I chose to quietly hang up.  Evidently, I'm a blame laying B*tch to the Nth degree for daring to bother him with such drivel.  Somehow all of this is my fault for not just conveniently having the cash to get a tire on my car in a more timely manner.  We won't discuss the fact that both the Explorer AND the car are mine, in my name, paid for with my own money, and mine to use as I see fit, such as having the Explorer at my disposal as a backup vehicle if something goes wrong with my every day car, for example. That would be a low thing to bring up, wouldn't it?

In our household, he doesn't care what is wrong with anything, as long as he isn't the one being put out or made uncomfortable by it.  He once left the Papooses and I stuck driving a Bronco we had, when the back window was stuck in the down position and I had zero money to have it repaired.  We lived down 3 miles of dusty dirt road.  Every day that dirt would get through anything I put on there and get all over the girls and I, our school/work clothes, our hair.  If it rained, the dirty rain came in off of the roadway. Bleh.  Heater couldn't warm the interior up hardly at all with the cold coming in the back.  Bollocks!

Then he pulls this crap this morning.  And this is not the first or even the 6th time this has happened either.

So I did what any loving, understanding and respectful wife would do.

I fired up his precious sports car and drove it, chugging and spitting and sputtering, to drop Papoose #2 off at school, then drove myself to work.

Hey, it is what it is, right?