Man, I suck at this

But hey, this is just basically my journal, so if I am too busy or too lazy to post anything then I guess that's alright too.  That is at the top of my list of resolutions, to not feel so responsible for EVERYTHING.  Not that I'm going to get all irresponsible or anything, but the way I was raised, I was taught that absolutely EVERYTHING was my responsibility and my fault, including the happiness of everyone around me.  So, there is something could use some tinkering with.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  Wow, 2011 is going to be my year, I can just feel it!!!!

I am 42 years old.  I am JUST NOW getting started on making the life I have always dreamed of having.  No no no, not some lifestyles of the rich and famous kinda rich thing, that's not what I am talking about at all.  I am talking about finally throwing the hood up on my life and doing everything from tinkering to major overhaul here. 

For years I have thought things like 'man I wish I was more this or that'  lately I am finally figuring out in my head and in my heart, that I can make the changes I want to see in my life.  Just saying that for years is one thing, but truly believing it in your heart and soul so that you can affectively act on it is something else entirely.

I often wonder, how do other adults seem to have their shit together so well?? I mean, who taught them that???  I still feel like I am 20 years old inside, in so many ways.  I guess in some ways that is a really good thing, but in other ways it's going to end up making me that crazy old lady who is really friendly and sweet, but dresses like she doesn't care what anyone thinks, wears her hair way too young for her age, flirts with men wayyyyyyyyyyy too young for her, and just generally behaves like a kid. 

And you know what???  I can honestly say that I am pretty damn ok with that.

Have a great day everyone.  This is our year.